Thug to thugette: Who's that character in The Little Mermaid called? You know, that little crab nigga? –Norfolk, Virginia
Boyfriend to girlfriend: So, what do you want to do? You wanna go shopping or something?
Extremely feminine, sweet-looking girl: I just wanna go home and watch some fucking Dragonball Z. –Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Girl #1: Things happen for a reason, you know.
Girl #2: Yeah… It's probably good that I'm not rich. If I were rich, I'd be such a bitch!
Girl #1: Oh, I know! I'd still love you, but you'd be a total bitch.
Girl #2: Ugh… I can just hear me now: (total val voice) I'm going shopping! (normal voice) Ugh… My dad would spoil me.
Girl #1: I know! My dad too!
Girl #2: Our dads are too nice!
Girl #1: Maybe that's why god made them poor.
Girl #2: Yeah… He knew we'd be terrible people. –Nathan's, Coney Island, New York Overheard by: Wondering if I sound like this to other people
Tourist mom: Can you rent a boat at the lake down there?
Employee: Um, no. And that's the Pacific ocean. –Coffee Shop, Carmel Beach, California
Man on cell: I know — she’s been a proper cunt since she got cancer. –Freshwater West, Pembroke, Wales Overheard by: Withy
Little city boy chasing seagull on the beach: Come here, you flying chicken!
Mom: That is not a chicken, that is a pigeon or something!
Little boy: I said come here, come here, you chicken head! –Seaside, Oregon
Seven-year-old girl with net, shouting to friend and running to the water: Come on, Meghan! This is a humongous scientific emergency! –Wellfleet, Massachusetts
Preteen boy #1, whispering to pal: Dude! Look at that girl lying over there. Her bikini’s pulled up so tight it’s up in her snatch.
Preteen boy #2, whispering back: Quiet… Damn!
Preteen boy #1: What’s that sticking out?
Preteen boy #2: I think it’s hair, dude.
Preteen boy #1: They got hair down there?
[they high-five each other]
Preteen boy #1: It’s kind of gross and cool at the same time. –Padre Island, Texas
Girl #1: So I remembered to raise my eyebrows in the picture… Hey, want to see? (pulls out driver's license).
Girl #2: I just leave mine in the car.
Girl #1: Your eyebrows? –Hartford, Wisconsin Overheard by: Eating icecream at the time
Niece: I can’t find my underwear!
Uncle: Maybe it’s with my wedding ring. –Rio Del Mar Beach, California