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I'll Just Have the Sweetbread.
Teen girl having dinner: Ew! Escargot has snails!
--Carnival Cruise Ship
Overheard by: Alix
And They Keep Accidentally Driving Me Back Over the Border
Tourist with thick New Jersey accent: These people are so stupid! They don't even speak American.
--Huatulco, Mexico
I Can Tell Because It Is Still Full
Cop, pointing to trash can filled rim with beer and alcohol bottles: Are all of these yours?
Tall man, pointing to one lone bottle: Well, that one's not mine.
--Belmar, New Jersey
A+ Nose-Picking, Though.
Older brother: Okay, okay, run around and grab all the sand and pick it up and throw it on the ground as fast as you can.
(little brother stares cluelessly at older brother)
Older brother: No, you fail!
--Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Overheard by: Joseph Hammerman
Shark: Ralph, Do You Have to Play the Jaws Theme Non-Stop?
Middle aged tourist yelling frantically to children in the water: Get out, get out! There's sharks!
Teenager with skimboard: Actually, those are a school of stingrays. They're quite harmle...
Middle age mother, cutting him off: Shaaarks! Get out now!
--Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Jonica Grompson
Jesus, What Do You Have to Do to Get Exiled from New Jersey?
Little boy: Why do you live in New York now?
Uncle: Well, the family don't love me anymore.
Little boy: Huh? But...?
Uncle: Yeah, but you're lucky, they still love you. If they didn't, you'd have to live in New York with me.
--Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Overheard by: Kate-in-Oz
You've Never Ordered from Papa Johannesburg's?
Girl #1: Who really invented pizza?
Girl #2: I think it was the Africans.
Guy: Africans? Come on, they're still not eating pizza.
--Mt. Clemens, Michigan
Overheard by: Lauren
What? It's Really Fat.
Little boy standing at pier railing, looking at beach: Look, dad! I can see America from here!
--Seal Beach Pier, California
Another Fake Place
Guy #1: You're from Kazakhstan? Isn't that where Borat is from?
Guy #2: Yes.
Guy #1: I thought that place was fake. I didn't know it was a real place.
Guy #2: Borat is from England.
--Miami Beach
Just Brain Cells? Whew!
Guy on cell: Did you just say you killed somebody?!
--Waikiki, Hawaii
Overheard by: gavin
Have You Tried Sleeping With Guys Who Like You?
Ugly overweight girl in unflattering bikini: Guys don't like you anymore after you've had sex with them.
--Belmar Beach, New Jersey
But If You Keep Drinking, They Refuse to Open at All
Betty Ford dropout: I hate it when you close your eyes and you feel the alcohol, but when you open them you don't.
--Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Danny
