Fat girl: What did you and Michelle talk about on the phone last night?
Skinny girl: She and Alex are fighting.
Fat girl: You're lying, they are not! What did she really tell you?
Skinny girl: Well, she thinks Victoria's replacing her.
Fat girl: Ugh, she could've just talked to me about it… Victoria did kinda replace her, though.
–Lavalette, New Jersey
Overheard by: Crab
Young child, chasing friends: The only way to kill fish is by using acid! The only way to kill fish is by using acid!
–Jetty, South Australia
Tourist dad: Great communication, guys. Now I had to walk out here and get my feet all sandy.
Adorable little girl: Daddy, I want a hamburger!
Bitter dad: No, hamburgers will make you fat. Do you want to be fat like your mommy? Is that what you want?
–3rd Street Promenade, Santa Monica, California
Girl #1: It was really awkward with him last night, he kept putting his hand in his back pocket and down the back of his jeans.
Girl #2: Maybe he had an itch on his ass?
Girl #1: It was worse then that: he started rubbing his ass on the bar stool.
–Jones Beach, Long Island, New York
Woman #1: You really should have seen this guy's boobs, they were huge.
Woman #2: So he needed a bra?
Man #1: A bro.
Man #2 (with hands on hips, triumphantly): A manzier!
Woman #1: What he needed was some testosterone!
Overheard by: Festivus for the Rest of Us
Girl: I’m a backpacker, not a real whore.
–Coogee Beach, Sydney, Australia
A group of pedestrians is almost run down by several cyclists.
Girl #1: Are we walking on the bike path?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: God, I hate us.
–Lake Nokomis, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Aaron Johnson
Boy: Good looks!
Girl: Good looks?
Boy: Yeah, that’s what black people say.
–Rockaway Beach, Queens, New York
Overheard by: Sparky
Guy #1: I’ve been married for eleven years. My wife and I are always looking for ways to keep our relationship fresh.
Girl: I’ve heard having sex in different rooms of the house helps that.
Guy #2: My wife and I just have sex with different people.
–Santa Monica Pier, California
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