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What's More Flattering Than Becoming Whacking Material?
Cute brunette in black bikini to boyfriend: Can we go? There's a guy over there filming us.
Boyfriend: Where?
Brunette: Over there, in the white shorts. What a creeper!
(a few minutes after)
Brunette's female friend: White shorts is going in the water. I hope he gets his camera wet.
Brunette: It's actually kinda flattering.
Boyfriend: First you're all insulted, and now your flattered. Pfft!
--Beach, Chicago, Illinois
Dad's Kind Of a Giant Sand Dick
Four-year-old girl: Look daddy, I'm going to make a sand castle!
Inexplicably angry father: You know that's not going to work! The sand has to be wet. I thought we went over this already, but you never listen, do you?
--Grand Bend, Canadia
Overheard by: Castle
Further Evidence That Only Slow or Stupid Children Get Abducted
Mother to son: How many times can I tell you not to touch the hobos!?
--Coney Island, New York
Jake Had Wondered About the Footprints on His Countertop
Blonde beach girl: I'm going t stop by Jake's house after this and ask him if I can wash my vagina out in his sink.
--Belmar, New Jersey
You Can Be Our Token Sober Person
Girl on cell: Hey! I'm having a barbecue tonight! You should totally come over to my place and drink juice. And by "juice," I mean sooodaaaa.
--Virginia Beach, Virginia
Geologic Time Has Nothing on Family Time
Chubby guy to sister: Sand is rocks that disintegrated over time because of volcanoes.
--The Dunes, Michigan
You Get to Be the Girl Tonight
Random guy in middle of large group of male friends: Ah, man! And my nipples just got like so hard right now.
Friend: Dude, man! They totally did! (chorus of laughter as they walk away)
--Fort Walton Beach, Florida
Like Your Speedo?
Girlfriend in spa, whose bikini top is suddenly filling with air from the spa-jets: Ai! My top is blowing off!
Boyfriend: That's okay, it's not as if it was supporting anything.
--Hobart, Australia
Overheard by: JW
You Want the Physics? You Can't Handle the Physics!
Blonde: Why did they make the sun so hot?
--Tampa, Florida
...So the Cast Of the Real World Is Out.
Guy: We need servers who are nice, polite, legal, and will pass a drug test.
--Miami, Florida
...But Jelly Beans Are a Legume.
Concerned granny: You have to get a fruit and a vegetable.
Porky grandson: Candy corn is a vegetable!
--Buffet Restaurant, Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
What? The Tide Carries It Away!
Man to wife and daughter: Hey! I've shat my pants before and it really wasn't that bad, so I'd be willing to do it again.
--Virginia Beach, Virginia
