Four-year-old boy, crouched behind a sand wall, yelling at friends running from waves: Hold your positions! I said, “Hold your positions!” –Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Girl #1: I was talking to Jess* the other day. She’s been home for a while.
Girl #2: Isn’t she a lesbian now?
Girl #1: Yeah, she was with her girlfriend, Michelle, who was really nice and really hot.
Girl #2: So, Jess is like the boy, right?
Girl #1: No. They are both girls. –St. Kilda Beach, Australia Overheard by: one of those lesbians who dates boys
Blonde: Why is this water, like, salty?
Brunette: Uhhh, it’s sea water — the ocean is salty.
Blonde: Yeah, but I thought this was the Gulf… –Clearwater Beach, Florida Overheard by: tourist lover
Swedish guy, to French guy: So you’re telling me I just paid like 1,000 Euro to go here and find out that some fuckin’ frogshagger screwed my girlfriend? French guy says nothing. Swedish guy: Hey, that’s three words for “intercourse” in one sentence! Personal record! –Côte d’Azur, France Overheard by: Another Swede
Hick tourist, pointing to the ocean: So is that there salt water?
Island Beach State Park worker, after long confused pause: It's the ocean.
Hick tourist: Yeah, but does it like, have salt in it? –Island Beach State Park, New Jersey Overheard by: sick of bennies
Teen girl to teen boy: Well, it ain't gonna lick itself! –Gunnison Beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Dude on cell: I don’t think the marriage thing is going to work… Why? Because I’m already married! –Smith Point, Long Island, New York
Little girl voice: Get a flame thrower! (a few minutes later) Firegirl gets iced! –Oceanside, California Overheard by: What goes on in my neighborhood?
Sunbather to her gal pals: Do you think those guys know that Rick has slept with each of us? –Lewes, Delaware Overheard by: Graz
Woman to friend: Look at that woman. She so fat, we should call Greenpeace to roll her back in the ocean.
Little girl passing by fat woman: My mommy says Greenpeace should roll you back into the ocean! –Zandvoort, Netherlands Overheard by: Linda