Girl to surfer boy: If your dick is big as this ice cream I'll throw the ice cream in the trash and lick your dick! –Santa Monica, California
Teen boy #1: I swear on my mom, if you just put that on you won’t get wet.
Teen boy #2: Then why the fuck is it called a wet suit? –Cedar Lake, Minneapolis, Minnesota
JAP #1: So yeah, Aaron* and Rachel* hooked up last night.
JAP #2: Oh my god! What a fucking slut!
JAP #1: Didn’t you and Rachel give Aaron a blow job last week, at the same time?
JAP #2: Yeah, so… Your point?
JAP #1: Oh, nevermind… Just wanted to know what you thought was slutty and what wasn’t. –Boca Beach Club, Boca Raton, Florida Overheard by: glad i picked the boca hotel to stay at..
40-something woman, looking at towel in disgust: Bobby, how many times have I told you not to jerk off in the back seat?!
Annoyed teenage boy: Sorry, mom! Geez! –Ocean City, New Jersey Overheard by: Awkwardest Moment of My Life
Hipster teen on cell: No, dude, I'm not sober. I'm totally drunk and I have to babysit in less than an hour! –Alki Beach, Seattle, Washington
Guy: It smells like pussy out here!
Girl: It smells like you’re gonna have to find someone else to give your ass a ride home. –Bixby Knolls, Long Beach, California Overheard by: Armando
Dumb blonde: It's not “labia Menorah”?
Friend: No, that's the Jewish thing.
Dumb blonde: So what is it then? –Siesta Key, Florida
Guy #1: Man, just seeing all these couples together just makes it worse, you know?
Guy #2: Yeah, I hear you. I’m sorry…
Guy #1, shouting at passing couples: It’s all gonna end in tears! –Huntington Beach, California Overheard by: Higgins
Mom to little boy: You do not pee on somebody unless they ask you to! –Ocean Isle Beach, North Carolina Overheard by: mad-the-hatter
Father to small child: Is that from China? Get that out of your mouth! –Long Beach, Long Island, New York