Wore the Old One Out

Knife-scarred muscle man: Naw, man, that’s it — I’m done. I’m just gonna go home and play checkers and hopefully win. If not, I’m gonna play Scrabble and cheat! I just bought a new thesaurus. –Coney Island, New York Overheard by: donovan

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A Very "Special" School

Dad: It’s all about the Benjamins?
Son: Who’s Benjamin?
Dad: He’s the president on the hundred dollar bill. He was the third president of the United States. You’d know that if you were in private school like I was. –Zuma Beach, Malibu, California Overheard by: Danielle

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What Happens When You Take Sex Ed in North Carolina

Girl #1: Oh, man! So, for Christmas my dad is letting me get my cartilidge pierced! I’m so excited!
Girl #2: Oh, man, that’s so cool! I want to get mine done, too.
Girl #1: Yeah, I’ll only ever get my ears pierced. Everything else is so gross and weird.
Girl #3: Yeah, well, I have my clit pierced — do you think that’s weird?
Girl #2: What’s a clit? –Nags Head, North Carolina

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