Last Night, I Woke Up and He Was Licking My Ass!

Nature's mishap: I can't take off this towel.
Logical friend: Why? You do have something on under that.
Nature's mishap: Well, no.
Logical friend: What?! What happened to your trunks? You didn't lose them in the water, did you?
Nature's mishap: No...they're just gone.
Logical friend, to another guy: I can't keep my eye off of John for one minute, can I, without him doing something stupid?

--Long Beach, New York