I'm So Fat and I Haven't Had My Period for Eight Months! I Must Have a Tumor.

Girl: My nipples are so sore! I think they're sunburned.
Nipple-Savvy friend: Is that even possible?
Girl: What else would explain the pain? [Shows nipple]
Nipple-Savvy friend: Maybe your boyfriend shouldn't bite them so hard, yeah?
Girl: He didn't bite them!
Nipple-Savvy friend: I can see the bite marks.
Girl: Oh.

--Miami Beach, Florida

Overheard by: A beach bookreader