Sir, I'm Going to Need to Wand You

Boy #1: Yeah, it was cool, but that bouncer searched me like crazy. He was patting my thighs and stuff. Security is crazy at that place, huh?
Boy #2: What security?
Boy #3: What bouncer?
Boy #1: You know, that big, fat guy near the entrance.
Boy #2: There was no security dude.
Boy #1: ... Then who the hell was that guy?!

Boys #2 and #3 laugh hysterically.

--Venice Beach, California