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Fat people (Best Of) All Categories > People > Fat people
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I Ran Out of Bag Balm (TM)
Man: I see you've caught the sun a bit!
Fat lady: No, that's just chub-rub.
--Spain
Overheard by: Vertman
The Readers of Knocked-Up Snatch Say Otherwise
Beach-goer: Belly rings and stretch marks really don't go together.
--Redondo Beach, California
Overheard by: Everybody's Ex-Wife
So All I Need Is a Tan
Fat girl, to friend: That tan girl looks better in my bikini than I do.
Random guy walking by: Yeah, she does.
--Traverse City, Michigan
Overheard by: Cari
I Tried to Solve Both Problems by Eating Her
Big man: No, I never blamed my wife for me being fat. I blame her for me being a nympho... Not for being fat, though...
--Virginia Beach, Virginia
Guess Mommy's Never Seen a Real Woman
Woman to friend: Look at that woman. She so fat, we should call Greenpeace to roll her back in the ocean.
Little girl passing by fat woman: My mommy says Greenpeace should roll you back into the ocean!
--Zandvoort, Netherlands
Overheard by: Linda
Like Cock
Big Brooklyn dude #1: I really wanna see The Devil Wears Prada. I heard it's the funniest movie ever.
Big Brooklyn dude #2: Yeah, man, but I really wanna read the book first.
Big Brooklyn dude #1: Yeah, yeah! It's not just for chicks, man!
Big Brooklyn dude #2: It's not just for chicks.
--Rockaway Beach, New York
Help Me Shake It Loose before the US Invades
Fat lady screaming: Taneesha! Homegirl, get yo' ass in here and see this! There be more sand up in my vah-jay-jay than the Saharia desert!
--Dressing room, Montego Bay, Jamaica
Overheard by: Erin
What Happened to Gray, Windowless Vans?
Really loud fat lady: Fat old guys drive nice cars to get with the young pretty girls.
--Public parking lot, Seaside, Oregon
Overheard by: Drewlicious
Predator UAV Designers: 'Eeeexcellent!'
Fat guy: Oh boy, that plane looks just like a seagull. You'd never see it coming! Oh wait, that is a seagull.
--Air show, Lake Michigan
Overheard by: Steve W
Tie Goes to the Hungriest
Thin little girl: Let me see it! Let me see it!
Fat little girl: No! MY dead fish!
--Lake Erie, Monroe, Michigan
Overheard by: sandra g
If You'll Refer to This Venn Diagram...
Fat guy in tight shirt: Okay, I can understand a Vulcan being a Buddhist, but not a Christian.
--Venice Beach, California
Randy Found Her Unresponsive, Cowlike Demeanor Strangely Arousing
Fat dude on awkward first date: Yeah, so that's why I didn't put 'Let's meet at Starbucks' in my ad. 'Let's have a beer on the beach,' you know?
Obese chick: Mmm-hmmm.
Fat dude: So... You don't drink?
Obese chick: Hm-mmm.
Fat dude: So, it's fair to say you have a problem with alcohol.
Obese chick: I don't have a problem with it.
Fat dude, after long pause: So, what do you do? I mean, what other hobbies do you have?
Obese chick: I chew a lot of gum.
--Golden Gardens Park, Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Brooke
Right Where You Belong: My Heart
Drunk guy, plopping down on lounge chair: Oh yeah!
Burly man passed out next to him starts to wake up.
Drunk guy: You are a sex machine!
Burly man: What? Where am I??
--Pool bar, Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Girl on nearby lounge chair
