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Tomorrow Night It's The Devil in Miss Jones or Nothing

Five-year-old girl to dad humming Lion King theme: Would you please stop singing that song?!
Dad: I can't get it out of my head.
Five-year-old girl: That's the last time you make me watch that movie with you.

--Palm Beach, Florida

Overheard by: jeff little

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Posted 2007-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Awww, You're Sweet. No, I'm 30

Little girl: Grandma, you're old!
Grandma: How old do you think I am, sweetie?
Little girl: I dunno... like, 16, or something.

--Wilmington, North Carolina

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Posted 2007-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

No Thanks, Bobby

Three-year-old playing kitchen, to adults: Does anyone want a taste of my spicy vagina?

--Lake George, New York

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Posted 2008-02-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

If You Cunt Pronounce It Correctly, Keep Your Mouth Shit

Three-year-old girl: I love the bitch!
Mother: Did you just say 'bitch'? You can't say that! It's beach.
Three-year-old girl: Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch!
Mother, exasperated: I can hear you!

--Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: jess

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Posted 2007-07-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Can We Keep It?

Little boy passing by a midget: Mom! Mom! I just saw a people-kid!

--Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

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Posted 2008-01-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

The Goldilocks Tale Gets a Strange and Wonderful Retelling

Young boy: This water's too cold for one of my privates!

--Cunningham Falls, Maryland

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Posted 2007-08-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Girls: Yes, We'll be 'Right Back'

Bike kid #1: Where are you going? The girls are coming right back!
Bike kid #2: I'm going to get gum.
Bike kid #1 to bike kid #3: We're never bringing him to fucking Wawa again!

--Cape May, New Jersey

Overheard by: DennyCrane

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Posted 2006-11-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Her Friends Call Her "Inconvenient Ruth"

Seven-year-old girl with net, shouting to friend and running to the water: Come on, Meghan! This is a humongous scientific emergency!

--Wellfleet, Massachusetts

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Posted 2007-09-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Travis Decides to Abandon Vanilla

Tiny mullet kid: Spank the hiney! Spank the hiney!
Surfer passerby: Spank the hiney? Awesome!

--Robert Moses Beach, New York

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Posted 2007-04-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Well, God Is Pretty Old

Five-year-old as old lady swims by: Grandpa, how much older can a woman get?!

--Harry Wright Lake, Manchester, New Jersey

Overheard by: I Put on More SPF

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Posted 2007-10-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook