Parents (Best Of) All Categories > People > Parents

Recent | Best Of

Subcategories: Dads | Moms | Preggers | 

 

...Go Play with That Shiny Medical Waste, Becky.

Little girl, getting to beach: Wow, look! Sea shells! I'm gonna find a real one today!
Mom and dad, disinterested: Mm-hmm...

--Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2011-06-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Britney and K-Fed in Five Years

Drunk mother: So, do... When we should send the kids to bed?
Drunk father: Well, the older one can stay up later tonight... What the fuck is that kid's name...?
Drunk mother: Brianna?
Drunk father: Who the hell...? I mean, Sabrina.
Drunk mother: You're holding Sabrina.
Drunk father: Cassie! Send the other two to bed in an hour or so, but Cassie can stay up later. [Baby in his arms starts to cry.] Shut the hell up, Cheyenne.

--Beach campground, Mindon, Ontario, Canadia

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2007-03-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Because She's Already Too Smart For Cornell

Dad: What grows in the marsh, baby?
Little girl: Marshmallows?
Dad, to mom: You want her to go to what college?

--Tybee Island, Georgia

Overheard by: Sullivan

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2006-07-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

We Raised Him Free Range

Four-year-old sprays woman with his giant water gun, and doesn't stop after she warns him repeatedly.

Woman: I'm going to talk to his parents! [Stomps to nearby cafe.] Who is responsible for this child?
Parent: Sorry. What did the little fucker do this time?

--Marmaris Beach, Turkey

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2007-07-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

This Old Thing?

Guy wearing "World's Best Dad" shirt: Hey, honey, where's Sadie?
Wife: You're holding Sadie!

--Wakulla Springs, Florida

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2006-07-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Let Me Guess-- You're Itching to Talk About It?

Little girl, running happily: Mom, dad!
Little boy: Guess what we caught!
Both, in perfect unison: Crabs!

--San Diego, California

Overheard by: the girl who received dirty looks from the parents for laughing

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2009-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Bring Me Grandchildren, Then We'll See

Tween girl to parents: You never listen to me!
Mom: Be quiet, Ashley.

--Clearwater Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Nicole

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2008-10-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Cher Is My Mom -- This Fall on Lifetime

Teen girl: My ribs are so big!
Mom: You can blame your father for that.
Dad: Your ribs are fine.
Teen girl: They look like a second set of boobs!
Dad: They look fine.
Mom: You know, you can get surgery to have some of them removed.

--Belmar, New Jersey

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2007-09-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Another Great Time-Killer? "Pregnant or Fat?"

Daughter: Sorry I'm late.
Mom: That's okay. We were playing 'Tourist or not?' with the passersby. Look -- those two -- obviously tourists.
Daughter: Oh, kinda like when I play 'Jew or not?' when I get bored.

--Ipanema, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Overheard by: Jew tourist

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Posted 2007-12-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook