Teen bimbette: So I heard about this new band that just came out. The lead singer is really cute… they’re called The Doors. –South California
Movie critic #1: You know that movie, with Tom Hanks, where he plays the drunk baseball player? And the women are the players because the men are gone?
Movie critic #2: Where?
Movie critic #3: To war.
Movie critic #2: So the women played baseball? That wasn’t a movie.
Movie critic #1: You know, the movie has that star that’s on TV. Bette Davis’ daughter.
Movie critic #3: Who? Debate goes on for several minutes. Movie critic #1: Wait, it’s Geena Davis! She’s Betty Davis’ daughter! See the resemblence in the eyes?
Movie critic #3: Didn’t Betty Davis hate Geena because she was tall?
Movie critic #1: Well, she got the part anyway, didn’t she? Geesh, I wish I could remember the name of that movie! –Nauset Beach, Eastham, Massachusetts
Friend #1: You know who's really hot? Megan Fox.
Friend #2 (in nonchalant agreement): Yeah, she's really hot. (more excitedly) You know who else is hot?
Friend #1: Who?
Friend #2: That brunette chick from the Transformers movie–damn.
Friend #1: Megan Fox?
Friend #2: Oh. –Guarujá, São Paulo, Brazil
College chick on cell: I’m like, ‘Why do I have to have dreams about us breaking up? Why can’t I have dreams like I used to… Like when I was fucking Bob Saget?’ –Fort Lauderdale, Florida Overheard by: Ava
Cyclist to another: I ran into Jerry Seinfeld and I said, “Jerry, you sold out.” –Bike Path, Santa Monica, California
20-something girl: I can't believe I let my career go. I could have been the new Paris Hilton, but like Spanish. Caliente! –Lincoln Woods State Park, Rhode Island
Blonde: I just can’t believe Justin Timberlake can dance like that!
Black guy: I can. It’s 2007 — brothers are intelligent and white girls got booty. –Venice Beach, Florida Overheard by: slamber
Amateur musicologist: Paul McCartney had a band before Wings? –Phoenix, Arizona
Band kid to another: It was both gay and funny, like Jesus and Fergie combined. –Palm Coast, Florida Overheard by: Dahbuke
Mother: Both of my daughters are allowed to marry Orlando Bloom if they ever want to. That is one gorgeous boy.
Father: Who’s Orlando Bloom?
Daughter #1: An elf.
Mother: No, he’s not.
Daughter #2: Yes, he is — he was Legolas in the Lord of the Rings.
Father: The elf was played by a black man? –Carolina Beach, North Carolina