Really loud fat lady: Fat old guys drive nice cars to get with the young pretty girls. –Public parking lot, Seaside, Oregon Overheard by: Drewlicious
Archive for the ‘Assholes’ Category
He'll Find Out about It Online Eventually
Drunk mother #1: I met him at a bar. He looked like George Clooney… But we’ll see.
Drunk mother #2: Wait, aren’t you dating someone?
Drunk mother #1: Not anymore. He just doesn’t know it yet.
–Daytona Beach, Florida
The Ants are Always Hogging the Spots Under the Magnifying Glass
Teen boy: Ugh. This tanning oil gets so hot! Maybe it will fry off my back zits. Hey, move over, I want to lay down so the sun will burn off my back zits. –Beach, Rhode Island
KKK Just So Stories
Little surfer kid pointing to large black lady: Look, a whale turd. –New Symrna, Florida
…Now, on to the Next Topic: My Muscles!
Teen guy, to group of pretty girls: Oh my god, that wave was 6 foot 4. That's my height, I'm 6 foot 4!
–Cornwall, England
Overheard by: Beth
Even Dick Sucking?
Furious teenage boy to other teens: Just because you call “no-homo” before you do something doesn't mean it's not gay!
–Coney Island, New York
Where Reality Show Contestants Come From: Explained.
20-something guy: If someone offered you a thousand dollars to let them break your leg, would you say yes? I would. I'd say “hell yeah, break that shit in half!”
–Siesta Key, Florida
Have You Been Smoking Some Green?
Annoying woman: That was green before green was really green.
–Santa Monica, California
I Think I've Seen This Vin Diesel Family Comedy…
Postman on cell: Yeah, I'm not a street gangsta–but I'm a gangsta in the house. I hold that shit down. Anybody can be all tough in the streets, but me, I got the house on lock.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Overheard by: Tigertail
Ad: "Are You Irish Sprung?"
Drunk Spanish rock dude: This soap, it smells like penis.
–Santander, Spain
Overheard by: Murray