Furious teenage boy to other teens: Just because you call “no-homo” before you do something doesn't mean it's not gay! –Coney Island, New York
Fat guy to wife who’s sunbathing on her stomach: Wow. You need to shave — you got some wild, stray hairs back there.
Wife: Say it louder, asshole. –Rosemary Beach, Florida Overheard by: She’s still hotter than you, pal
Mother, loudly: Oh my God, get over here! Turn around!
Teen daughter: What! What’s on me?!
Mother: A stretch mark! That’s what! Right there on your hip! You have got to lay off the chips! We are on vacation here. You shouldn’t be stress-eating!
Teen daughter: Mom! Shut up! People can hear you.
Mother: No, no one is listening, and besides, they can all see it, too.
Kayaking instructor: Does everyone have their life vests on? Good now I’d like you all to pair up, and for this first run we are going to pair up with someone you don’t know.
Daughter: Thank God!
Mother: What? –Bayville, New Jersey
Skinny, half naked black guy wearing purple booty shorts: “do you guys do drugs?”
College kids: “no…”
Black guy: “oh I do…I'm a drug addict. Yeah, I just came from a rave, there are some crazy people out there! Why are y'all sitting here in the middle of venice beach? It gets dangerous here at night!”
College kid (holding an orange): “well, I'm strapped, so…”
Black guy: “is that an orange? Can I have it?” (takes orange and walks away). –Venice Beach Overheard by: Keidi
Guy: You look really hot in that bikini.
Girl #1: I’m not really in the mood for flirting today so why don’t you just buy me a lemon ice, I’ll pretend I like you, and we’ll both be on our way.
Guy, as he walks away: Bitch.
Girl #2, walking up to her: Wasn’t that your boyfriend?
Girl #1: Yeah. I’m so tired of him being a dick all the time. Guy comes back with a lemon ice. –Boardwalk, Jones Beach, New York Overheard by: Batwon
Drunk mother #1: I met him at a bar. He looked like George Clooney… But we’ll see.
Drunk mother #2: Wait, aren’t you dating someone?
Drunk mother #1: Not anymore. He just doesn’t know it yet. –Daytona Beach, Florida
Guy: Look, Jen — I’ll fuck you, I’ll spank you, I’ll tie you up, and I’ll piss on you, but I am not getting back into a relationship with you. –Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia
Girl #1, approaching girl #2: Um, you should work on your self-esteem more.
Girl #2: What? Who are you?
Girl #1: Take your shorts off. You’re gonna get an ugly tan line.
Girl #2: I’m okay with that, thank you.
Girl #1: What do you care if you are fat? Love yourself!
Girl #2: Fuck off! Who asked your opinion? Who are you?
Girl #1: Hey, can I bum a cigarette? –Topanga State Beach, Los Angeles, California Overheard by: Freaked Out By CA Chicks
Boyfriend to girlfriend’s underage sister: Want a beer? [Girlfriend and little sister stare at him.] What? It’s not like I asked her to blow me. –Treasure Island Beach, Florida Overheard by: Sara
Teen guy, to group of pretty girls: Oh my god, that wave was 6 foot 4. That's my height, I'm 6 foot 4! –Cornwall, England Overheard by: Beth