Latina #1: I feel like everybody hates me.
Latina #2: Maybe it’s ’cause you feet stink.
–Brighton Beach, Brooklyn, New York
Archive for the ‘Body parts’ Category
It's All Gone Downhill Since the Tooth Fairy Started Subcontracting
Lifeguard: What happened to your toenail?
Little boy: A monster carried it off a while ago. Around kindergarten, I think.
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Super Sexy Woman
Trashy Daughter: Well, Then at Least Take Off Your 'Cum Dumpster' Shirt!
Overweight, trashy lady: It’s not hanging out!
Trashy daughter: Mom, yes it is. You can’t wear that kind of suit.
Trashy lady: We just drove two hours to get here, the weather’s not that great, and I can wear a thong if I want to tan my ass whenever I want!
–Rio del Mar, Aptos, California
Overheard by: Melissa
After All that Training with the Ping-Pong Balls, It's Just a Reflex
Chick: You didn’t bring the towels?!
Dude: Sorry, I forgot! Just lay in the sand!
Chick: I can’t! You know it always gets up inside of me!
–Daytona Beach, Florida
You Get to Be the Girl Tonight
Random guy in middle of large group of male friends: Ah, man! And my nipples just got like so hard right now.
Friend: Dude, man! They totally did! (chorus of laughter as they walk away)
–Fort Walton Beach, Florida
Unlike the Cuntlefish
Little girl to parents: That octopus has lots of testicles!
–Apollo Bay, Victoria, Australia
…I Swear It Was a Valid CPR Technique!
Lifeguard to group of other lifeguards, as rescued 14-year-old swimmer walks away: Did anyone notice all her hickies?
–North Bondi, Australia
Overheard by: Ggary
Well, It Seems Like the Appropriate Thing to Do.
Girl #1: Can you stop touching your junk in front of me?
Boy: I'm not touching my junk!
Girl #2: Stop touching your junk!
Boy: I'm not touching my junk!
Girl #1: Stop touching your junk!
Boy: I'm not touching my junk!
Girl #3: Can we touch each other's junk?
Boy, girl #1 and #2: What?
–Deerfield Beach
Florida
I Also Would Have Accepted "Yes"
Little girl: Do you have a stronger brain or a stronger heart?
Dad: Who?
Little girl: You?
Dad: Both.
–Rye, New York
Overheard by: Lobster
We Wouldn't Expect Anything Less from You, Mary Kate.
Girl: I think that bitch Ashley got me sick. You know how you can feel it in the back of your throat before it comes… Wow!
–San Diego, California