Archive for the ‘Body parts’ Category

Shelby Went Kayaking With the Prince of Darkness and Had a Comparatively Lovely Time

Mother, loudly: Oh my God, get over here! Turn around!
Teen daughter: What! What’s on me?!
Mother: A stretch mark! That’s what! Right there on your hip! You have got to lay off the chips! We are on vacation here. You shouldn’t be stress-eating!
Teen daughter: Mom! Shut up! People can hear you.
Mother: No, no one is listening, and besides, they can all see it, too.
Kayaking instructor: Does everyone have their life vests on? Good now I’d like you all to pair up, and for this first run we are going to pair up with someone you don’t know.
Daughter: Thank God!
Mother: What? –Bayville, New Jersey

But Only at First

Short girl: I would make a really awkward stripper.
Taller girl: Ummm… What?
Short girl: No, seriously! Like, think about it — if I was up there stripping, I would be like half the size of all the other girls… My head would be in the same spot as their, you know… And that’s awkward. –Bayfront, Hamilton, Ontario, Canadia