10-year-old girl: My virgin arms! My virgin arms! –Belmar, New Jersey Overheard by: Confused
Chick #1: Why does that hurt your arms but nowhere else?
Chick #2: I dunno. It just does. I have weak arms.
Chick #1: I think you have leukemia…Don’t laugh! Leukemia is a horrible disease! –Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Blond woman, wrapping towel around her waist: I feel like my thighs are too fat to be at the beach.
Gay friend: Well, shit, now they look like they're in a sausage casing. Downgrade. –Palmetto, Boca Raton, Florida
Lifeguard to wading mother: That girl is too small. She can't be out that far. She has to be within arm's length.
Mother: How far is arm's length? –Jericho Beach, Vancouver, Canadia Overheard by: hefferlump
Woman #1: Now you see that dude right there? That one in the green swim trunks.
Woman #2: Okaaaaay, yeah, I see him. The one with the red hair that's skimboarding?
Woman #1: Yeah, him. Now, I would so hook up with him. Look at those abs. Don't you just wanna run your hands all over him?
Girl slathered in tanning oil, staring at them: That's my boyfriend.
Woman #2: Oh. How long have you guys been going out?
Girl: Four months. What's it to you?
Woman #1: Just weighing our chances.
Girl: Chances of what?
Woman #2: Sleeping with him.
(girl makes disgusted noise and walks away).
Woman #2: Don' t worry, Shar. She's hideous. We'll follow them when they leave and the next time they go to a club or something, we'll hunt him down and get what we want.
Woman #1: We always do. Wait…which one of us gets to sleep with him? (they glance at each other, saying nothing) I've got a bigger rack. –Pismo Beach, California Overheard by: Matilda
Queer #1 reaching for sunscreen: Okay, I need someone to do my back!
Queer #2: Ewww.
Queer #1: Oh, shut up you skanky-ass, motherfucking whore! –Cherry Grove Beach, Fire Island, New York Overheard by: Marizzle
Latina #1: I feel like everybody hates me.
Latina #2: Maybe it’s ’cause you feet stink. –Brighton Beach, Brooklyn, New York
Chick: You didn’t bring the towels?!
Dude: Sorry, I forgot! Just lay in the sand!
Chick: I can’t! You know it always gets up inside of me! –Daytona Beach, Florida
Drunk girl #1: Oh my god! Look at that guy's balls!
Drunk girl #2: Where?!
Drunk girl #1: Around his neck!
Drunk girl #2: Wow! They're huge! –Rocky Point, Mexico
Sunbathing guy: You know what sucks? Thinking you're more tan than you actually are. –Ocean City, Maryland