Archive for the ‘California’ Category

And That's the Way We Became the Brady Bunch

Girl #1: Alex and I had sex here, on this beach.
Girl #2: When?
Girl #1: Last summer. We were staying at his parents’ beach house and would come out here at night and just do it.
Girl #2: Sounds fun.
Girl #1: Oh, it was. Until we saw this couple walking their dog by the water.
Girl #2: Hm?
Girl #1: It turned out it was Alex’s parents. They totally knew it was us.
Girl #2, laughing: Did they ever say anything about it?
Girl #1: Oh, yeah. His dad took me aside the next morning and told me we could have a private rendezvous one night if I wanted.
Girl #2: No way! That’s disgusting! Oh my god, what a perv!
Girl #1: Yeah, except he and his wife were going to get a divorce anyway…

–Stinson Beach, California

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Translation: They Have the Best Coke

Dude #1: So, whatever happened to that stripper you were dating?
Dude #2: It’s over. I think it’s a bad idea to date strippers. You realize there’s a good reason they’re strippers, then it fucks it up every time you go back. It’s like, you look at these hotties and imagine all the possibilities, but now, after dating enough strippers, you realize the possibilities include consoling her drunk ass as she cries about being abused as a child while she lines up another rail of coke, then tells you her secret fantasy is to see you get nailed in the ass by another dude!
Dude #1: I still want to date one.
Dude #2: … Yeah, they’re fun.

–LaHaina’s, Mission Beach, California

Overheard by: sean

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