Archive for the ‘Canadia’ Category

They Seem So Happy…Oh, Wait…

Teen girl #1: Oh, I’m so happy for Candice!* She finally has a normal boyfriend!
Teen girl #2: Oh, that’s nice…Wait, is it that 29-year-old E dealer you guys met at that rave in Chilliwack?
Teen girl #1: Yes! Long pause. Teen girl #1: Well, it’s normal for her, I guess. –English Bay, Vancouver, British Columbia

'80s: Seriously, Though

Chubby twink: The ’80s called, they want their lipstick back.
Chick in black with bright red lipstick: Your boyfriend called, he thinks you’re fat. Chubby twink runs off crying, chick in black lights a smoke. –Witty’s Lagoon, British Columbia, Canadia Overheard by: sleepless

Why Flare Guns Are So Popular in Canadia

Man #1, hanging up cell: By the volleyball net? You can't find anyone at this beach by telling them “I'm by the volleyball net.” That's like going downtown and telling someone “I'm by the pizza place.”
Man #2: Or, “I'm by the hobo.” –Jericho Beach, Vancouver, Canadia Overheard by: Emimac