Chick: I can’t stand it when people smoke at the beach. It’s such a wrong thing to do in a place like this.
Dude: Smoking at the beach is like killing someone at a birthday party.
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Peter
Archive for the ‘Comebacks’ Category
After All that Training with the Ping-Pong Balls, It's Just a Reflex
Chick: You didn’t bring the towels?!
Dude: Sorry, I forgot! Just lay in the sand!
Chick: I can’t! You know it always gets up inside of me!
–Daytona Beach, Florida
No, No, I Think Paranoid Jealousy is the Appropriate Reaction
Girl #1: But then I thought, ‘Why the hell would he kiss her when he has me?’
Girl #2: Uh, because of the herpes?
Girl #1: Fuck you.
–Cape May, New Jersey
Overheard by: J.Tro
He'll Find Out about It Online Eventually
Drunk mother #1: I met him at a bar. He looked like George Clooney… But we’ll see.
Drunk mother #2: Wait, aren’t you dating someone?
Drunk mother #1: Not anymore. He just doesn’t know it yet.
–Daytona Beach, Florida
Not Exactly Rent, But It'll Do
Tanned man #1: Look at those fags over there!
Tanned man #2: Which ones?
Tanned man #1: The two over there, sitting with those four hot girls with the fine asses, big tits, and tiny bikinis.
Tanned man #2: Wait. You and I are alone. Those two guys have two girls each. Sounds like we’re the fags.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: D Meyers
Even Though They're All Visualizing Megan Fox?
20-something: You have no imagination.
Teenage brother: Masturbators have more imagination than you!
–Midland Beach, New York
Overheard by: Mr Puff Nubbins
Mike Was Eventually Deported by Homeland Security
Mother: Go play with the other kids.
Little boy, reading comic book: I don't want to.
Mother: You're going to have fun! Mike, there's no “i” in “team”!
Little boy: No, but there's an “m” and an “e.”
Father: Well, shit! My kid's smart!
–St. Augustine Beach, Florida
Overheard by: nicky
Henry VIII Was to Wreak Vengeance on All Womankind
Cute four-year-old to slightly chubbier four-year-old digging hole in the sand: Whatcha doing?
Chubby four-year-old: You can't play with me.
Cute four-year-old: Oh. (pause) Well, you're fat. (walks away)
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: The Older Sister
Tonight, on Little People, Big Whores…
Hobo in wheelchair to boys skating: Bend over!
Boy: If you were tall enough…
–Santa Monica, California
Point Taken.
Woman to girl: These girls are acting like such dogs!
Girl to woman: Well then, meeeeeaoww, bitch!
–Revere Beach, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sheena Quintyne