Woman: Is that where George Bush lives?
Man: No, you can’t see it from here.
Woman: I bet you could see it with binoculars or something.
Man: Doubt it.
Woman: Why do you always shut me down when I have an opinion? I’m entitled to it! How do you know you couldn’t see George Bush’s house from here?
Man: There’s an island in the way.
–Kennebunk Beach, Maine
Archive for the ‘Couples’ Category
Like When Uncle Walter Touches It
Girl to boyfriend: My vagina is all wet, and not in the good way. –Seaside Heights, New Jersey Overheard by: Thommy
Like Your Speedo?
Girlfriend in spa, whose bikini top is suddenly filling with air from the spa-jets: Ai! My top is blowing off!
Boyfriend: That's okay, it's not as if it was supporting anything.
–Hobart, Australia
Overheard by: JW
Sure It's Not the Sweet Pangs Of Love?
Nagging wife on bicycle to defeated downtrodden husband on bicycle: The more I talk to you, the more my stomach is getting aggravated… 'cause you're an asshole!
–South Beach Boardwalk, New York
Overheard by: J9 and G-Rod
We'll Never Understand the Russian Zodiac
Old man to wife, in Russian: What sign are you?
Woman: I'm a fish.
Old man: Shark, son of a bitch.
–Hallandale Beach Boulevard, Florida
Overheard by: superemanuella
…Unlike Your Soul.
Nagging mother to adult daughter, after sniping at her all afternoon: Your best attribute used to be your personality. But with the life you lead, now it's dead.
Adult daughter's husband, without looking up from newspaper: It's not dead, it's just asleep.
–Maguire's Landing, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: oysterwoman
Who Says Romance Is Dead?
Fat sweaty drunk boyfriend to fat sweaty drunk girlfriend: Babe… I don't ever want you to have to suck my cock for money again.
–Jersey Shore
Overheard by: Five Minutes Later A Stranger Grabbed My Hair and Smelled It
And You Know How Gullible Small Children Are
20-something man: Those seagulls sound like your orgasm!
Girlfriend, gesturing at teenagers: Shh! There are little girls over there!
–Michigan
If This Were a Porno, She'd Feel Them For You.
Freezing 20-something to boyfriend: I can't feel my nipples! I can't feel my nipples! Oh my god! That water's so freaking cold! (to friend) Brenda*! I can't feel my nipples!
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: I wish I could
Just As I'm Dropping Off to Sleep
Girlfriend: Why are you all pissed off?
Boyfriend: Some days you don't say shit to me, and then when I'm in a bad mood, you go and say some dumb shit out ya face.
–Coney Island
Overheard by: Dano