Drunk teen guy: If I had a vag, I'd totally stick drugs and shit up there! –Lavalette, New Jersey Overheard by: I have one, but I don't
Housemate: So, last night I was so high on acid that I thought the whole beach was made of cocaine, and now I can’t breathe. –Brazil Overheard by: living with morons
Girl running along shore: Smoke weed every day!
Black lady on beach blanket: Hallelujah! Come here, baby! Girl runs to black lady, who stands and hugs her and kisses her. Black lady: Smoke weed, God bless you! –Seaside Heights, New Jersey Overheard by: t-money
Guy holding up little wooden container: We could get this for Bill.
Girl: Oh! For his pot!
Guy, looking over girl’s shoulder at elderly woman behind her: … Or stuff. –Labadee, Haiti
40-year-old yuppie man: Yeah! I think a detox kiosk is a great idea! –La Jolla, California Overheard by: Confetti Bomb
Guy: We need servers who are nice, polite, legal, and will pass a drug test. –Miami, Florida
Teen girl #1: Oh, I’m so happy for Candice!* She finally has a normal boyfriend!
Teen girl #2: Oh, that’s nice…Wait, is it that 29-year-old E dealer you guys met at that rave in Chilliwack?
Teen girl #1: Yes! Long pause. Teen girl #1: Well, it’s normal for her, I guess. –English Bay, Vancouver, British Columbia
Dude #1: Dude, why on earth do you keep fucking her if you think she’s so disgusting? Is her pussy, like, made of gold or something?
Dude #2: No, her pussy’s made of cocaine. –San Francisco, California
Dirty old man to visibly terrified 20-something girl next to him: You know, as of today I am no longer on probation. Yep. You look good in shorts. I'm wearing pants cause I had to go to court today. (stops to make phone call) Hey, it's Steven*! Not on probation anymore! (hangs up without saying goodbye, turns back to girl) Right over there is where I went to school. Ten years old, then I quit. Mom used to have a dry clean right over there. No more. Ya know, over that building's the one my buddy sold and now it's a Hard Rock Cafe. A Hard Rock Cafe! Some years ago I saw Peter, Paul & Mary there. Ya know them? I used to date Mary. Wanted me to go to [unintelligible] with her. Never been there to this day. Been to South America, Africa, all over! Never done go to [unintelligible]. Alright, well, take care! (he gets off bus)
No longer terrified 20-something girl to random girl: He smelled like cocaine! –Express Bus, Waikiki, Hawaii Overheard by: mel
Boy, obviously on drugs: My mum says that your brain is like a forest, and every time you take drugs you are cutting down a tree. –Splendour Music Festival, Byron Bay, Australia