Drunk girl: My goal is to win a wet T-shirt contest so I can win two hundred dollars and get a tattoo… I could never get naked, but I would if I had to. –Ft. Walton Beach, Florida Overheard by: If I didn’t have to work the next day, I’d have invited her to party
Drunk girl #1: Oh my god! Look at that guy's balls!
Drunk girl #2: Where?!
Drunk girl #1: Around his neck!
Drunk girl #2: Wow! They're huge! –Rocky Point, Mexico
Drunk boy: Anemic? Isn't that when you eat too much white bread? –Poolside, Perth, Australia
Dad to buddy’s tween daughter: Susie*, can you get me another beer from the cooler?
Susie: Wow, Jerry, you’re an alcoholic.
Dad’s own tween daughter: My dad is not an alcoholic, he just drinks fast! –Long Island, New York
Drunk guy to others: Imagine how long it would take to fuck a spider. It would take ages! –Dunedin, New Zealand
Drunk girl pointing at pelican: Holy shit — a fuckin’ Pterodactyl! –Cancun, Mexico
Drunk guy: She’s done more blow than it snowed last year! –Virginia Beach, Virginia Overheard by: Audrey
Beach vendor #1: Ice cold corona! Aaargh!
Beach vendor #2: Ice cold water, beer! Aaargh!
Beach vendor #1: Yo, we need wigs.
Beach vendor #2: Next time I'm wearing a pirate costume, don't get it twisted.
Beach vendor #1: Ice cold corona, aargh! –Brighton Beach, New York
Drunk dude: I like mescaline for breakfast, because then all day you see all kinds of different shit. –Pacific Beach, California
Drunk woman to woman coming out of water with snorkeling mask: Oh, I was thinking about getting one of those! Is it worth the money?
Woman in mask: Absolutely! There's tons of sea urchins, coral, plants, fish…
Drunk woman: Tropical? –Atlantis Resort Cove Beach, Bahamas Overheard by: Maggie