Guy: We need servers who are nice, polite, legal, and will pass a drug test. –Miami, Florida
Chick: You didn’t bring the towels?!
Dude: Sorry, I forgot! Just lay in the sand!
Chick: I can’t! You know it always gets up inside of me! –Daytona Beach, Florida
A black man cuts in line ahead of two anorexic JAPs.
Anorexic JAP #1: Why are we here again?
Anorexic JAP #2: Ugh, I know! This would never happen back in Boca!
Black man: Eat something, you Jewish popsicles!
Anorexic JAP #1: Did he just ask us to give him a blowjob? –Deerfield Beach, Florida Overheard by: Laughing
Papi #1: Oh, he’s so nice! You know, he’s 36, but he doesn’t look any older than 34!
Papi #2: That’s hot. Translated from the Spanish –Miami Beach, Florida
Girl to boyfriend: All I have to do is finish this project, and I got my degree!
Boyfriend: You know what's a degree? Your vagina! –Gulf Coast University, Florida
Little surfer kid pointing to large black lady: Look, a whale turd. –New Symrna, Florida
Teen girl, looking at historic photos of fishermen: So like, what's a “circa”?
Teen boy: That's a kind of fish. (pointing to photo) See, that's a circa. So's that… –Pier, Naples, Florida Overheard by: circa 1978
Little boy: My daddy isn’t here.
Girl #1: He isn’t here? Where is he?
Little boy: In the garbage.
Girl #2: Why is he in the garbage?
Little boy: He is in the garbage.
Girl #1: Why?
Little boy: Because he doesn’t like my Skechers. –Cocoa Beach, Florida Overheard by: megan
60-something woman: So, you know Susan?
60-something friend: Oh gosh, yes! We've been to all her nude parties! –Anna Maria Island, Florida Overheard by: Too much information
Man: Come back in the water with me.
Boy: No. You tried to drown me! You almost killed me!
Man: Well. You shouldn't have kicked me.
Boy: Kickin' someone in the ding-dong ain't gonna kill them.
Man: It might. –Destin, Florida