Girl: Well, you get like half his money when you divorce!…And he’s in med school now. Alls I’m sayin’ is you should wait a few years. –Folly Beach, South Carolina
Mom: What did that lady ask you?
Little girl, wearing “Cerveza With a Smile” shirt: She asked what my shirt said.
Mom: Do you know what it says?
Grandpa: Service with a smile. –Cedar Point, Ohio Overheard by: devin the artist
Guy: There is nothing worse than having sand in your crotch.
Girl: What about a machete in your crotch? –Sydney, Australia
Hot chick: Like, oh my god, Sarah — just Google ‘How an ugly girl can seduce a hot guy.’
Ugly chick: What’s so good about Google anyway?
Hot chick: Like, oh my god — it’s like, well… Google! –Glenelg, Australia
Skinny drunk girl with dense philosophy textbook: I like peeing when necessary, I like peeing when unnecessary. Whenever, wherever. As long as I get arrested for it, that's all I ask. Is that too much to ask? –Jericho Beach, Vancouver, Canadia Overheard by: Jericho
Girl: Can fish die from loneliness? –Lowestoft, England Overheard by: Sarah
Girl, noticing bird poop on leg: Oh, shit! Why do I always get pooped on?! –Oval Beach, Michigan Overheard by: Steph
Teen girl #1: I thought you hated bikinis.
Teen girl #2: I do.
Teen girl #1: Why are you wearing one?
Teen girl #2: Because even though I look fat in it, guys don’t look at you if you’re in tankinis.
Teen girl #1: But it’s okay for them to see your fat.
Teen girl #2: At least this way you look, and if you catch it on time, you just suck in! –Vineyard Haven, Massachusetts Overheard by: bikinibabe
Girl #1: There are so many pale, fat guys here in Speedos.
Girl #2: It’s like they don’t care.
Girl #1: I know.
Girl #2: It’s so not like this in America. –Waikiki, Hawaii
Girl: Instead of “fisting” would elephants do “trunking”?
Guy: Wouldn't that be redundant? You know, trunk… Penis…
Girl: Yeah, maybe trunking is just elephant oral. (pause) That is a sentence I never thought I would ever say. –Bar Harbor, Maine