Chick: Fuck, I stepped on a piece of glass!
Dude: Was it beach glass?
Chick: I don’t know… We’re at the beach… Probably.
–Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: monkey
Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category
Kids, Can You Find Five Things Wrong with this Sunbather?
Girl #1: How do my boobs look?
Girl #2: Like oranges. Seriously, you need to quit that fake tanning shit.
Girl #1: Suck my dick.
–Ocean City, Maryland
That Reminds Me, When is Mom Up for Parole?
Chick: I can’t stand it when people smoke at the beach. It’s such a wrong thing to do in a place like this.
Dude: Smoking at the beach is like killing someone at a birthday party.
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Peter
It's the Little Things that Make Suicide Worthwhile
A group of pedestrians is almost run down by several cyclists.
Girl #1: Are we walking on the bike path?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: God, I hate us.
–Lake Nokomis, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Aaron Johnson
Plus, We're Always Painfully Candid
Guy #1: I’ve been married for eleven years. My wife and I are always looking for ways to keep our relationship fresh.
Girl: I’ve heard having sex in different rooms of the house helps that.
Guy #2: My wife and I just have sex with different people.
–Santa Monica Pier, California
You Mean While You Were Out Spreading Herpes?
Girl to friend in hot-pants: What have you been doing besides looking fat in those shorts all day?
–Lake Michigan
Trashy Daughter: Well, Then at Least Take Off Your 'Cum Dumpster' Shirt!
Overweight, trashy lady: It’s not hanging out!
Trashy daughter: Mom, yes it is. You can’t wear that kind of suit.
Trashy lady: We just drove two hours to get here, the weather’s not that great, and I can wear a thong if I want to tan my ass whenever I want!
–Rio del Mar, Aptos, California
Overheard by: Melissa
Believe Me, They Don't Want to Talk to You
Girl: What’s the number for 411? –Sag Main, Sagaponack, New York Overheard by: Friend on the Beach
After All that Training with the Ping-Pong Balls, It's Just a Reflex
Chick: You didn’t bring the towels?!
Dude: Sorry, I forgot! Just lay in the sand!
Chick: I can’t! You know it always gets up inside of me!
–Daytona Beach, Florida
No, No, I Think Paranoid Jealousy is the Appropriate Reaction
Girl #1: But then I thought, ‘Why the hell would he kiss her when he has me?’
Girl #2: Uh, because of the herpes?
Girl #1: Fuck you.
–Cape May, New Jersey
Overheard by: J.Tro