Chick: Fuck, I stepped on a piece of glass!
Dude: Was it beach glass?
Chick: I don’t know… We’re at the beach… Probably.
–Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: monkey
Archive for the ‘Gripes’ Category
Kids, Can You Find Five Things Wrong with this Sunbather?
Girl #1: How do my boobs look?
Girl #2: Like oranges. Seriously, you need to quit that fake tanning shit.
Girl #1: Suck my dick.
–Ocean City, Maryland
That Reminds Me, When is Mom Up for Parole?
Chick: I can’t stand it when people smoke at the beach. It’s such a wrong thing to do in a place like this.
Dude: Smoking at the beach is like killing someone at a birthday party.
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Peter
It's the Little Things that Make Suicide Worthwhile
A group of pedestrians is almost run down by several cyclists.
Girl #1: Are we walking on the bike path?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: God, I hate us.
–Lake Nokomis, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Aaron Johnson
Shut Your Legs a Little and Your Odds Might Improve
Woman on beach towel: I’ve never met a ferret that didn’t bite me.
–Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Laura From Aurora
How Do You Know that isn't Ted Kennedy?
Woman: Is that where George Bush lives?
Man: No, you can’t see it from here.
Woman: I bet you could see it with binoculars or something.
Man: Doubt it.
Woman: Why do you always shut me down when I have an opinion? I’m entitled to it! How do you know you couldn’t see George Bush’s house from here?
Man: There’s an island in the way.
–Kennebunk Beach, Maine
Trashy Daughter: Well, Then at Least Take Off Your 'Cum Dumpster' Shirt!
Overweight, trashy lady: It’s not hanging out!
Trashy daughter: Mom, yes it is. You can’t wear that kind of suit.
Trashy lady: We just drove two hours to get here, the weather’s not that great, and I can wear a thong if I want to tan my ass whenever I want!
–Rio del Mar, Aptos, California
Overheard by: Melissa
She Could Be a Piñata that Hasn't Been Hung
Guy pointing out girl with tampon string hanging out of her bikini: Dude, that chick is either on her period, or she just fucked a tea bag. –Bronte Beach, Sydney, Australia Overheard by: Hamish The Li
Like When Uncle Walter Touches It
Girl to boyfriend: My vagina is all wet, and not in the good way. –Seaside Heights, New Jersey Overheard by: Thommy
After All that Training with the Ping-Pong Balls, It's Just a Reflex
Chick: You didn’t bring the towels?!
Dude: Sorry, I forgot! Just lay in the sand!
Chick: I can’t! You know it always gets up inside of me!
–Daytona Beach, Florida