Guy to pal: Dude, I am pissed. When we were at your mom’s house the other night, she didn’t even give me a taco. That is horse shit. My mom always gives you a taco. –Belmar, New Jersey
Dude #1: You know, that guy we call Ass.
Dude #2: You call the guy Ass? Why?
Dude #1: Because he smells like ass. Do you want to hear the rest of my story or not? –Plum Island, Massachusetts
Girl #1: Our table looks lonely.
Girl #2: Why cause we have no friends?
Girl #1: No. Cause we have no drinks! –Cuba Overheard by: kiki
Grandmother: So you’re not in a fight anymore?
Little boy, hugging little girl: We’re gettting married!
Grandmother: But you’re cousins.
Little boy: No, I mean when we’re older.
Grandmother: But you’ll still be…Never mind. –Ortley Beach, New Jersey
Blonde girl: Oh… I had sex with your brother last night.
Brunette girl: Oh, yeah?
Blonde girl: He has a huge cock.
Brunette girl: Oh my god! I know!
Blonde girl: Too bad he has herpes.
Brunette girl: I know… –Burlington Beach, Ontario, Canadia Overheard by: Alrighty…..
Over-dressed and self-important guy on cell: No, no, it was some sort of implement she was calling us… No… Rubber? A douchebag? I’ve heard that before. –Pacific Palisades, California Overheard by: ear of the betafish
Girl #1: Hey, see those guys we went out on the date with that time?
Girl #2: Where?
Girl #1: Up there with the big-ass cooler and grill. I told you we shoulda gone out on another date with them. We coulda been up there drinkin’ beer and eating hot dog right now. –Cabbage Beach, Paradise Island, Bahamas Overheard by: d
Small child: Mama, I have crabs in my shorts! –Panama City Beach, Florida Overheard by: People Watcher
Bimbette to boyfriend: So yeah, I like, went to Cabo over spring break, and there were like Mexicans everywhere! Yeah, it was horrible. –Michigan
Lifeguard, walking into parking lot: They can’t make me stay here. –Misquamicut Beach, Rhode Island