Teen boy: Let’s go back in the water since I have sand in my ass. –San Clemente Beach, California Overheard by: Wanted to kill this kid
Dude #1: Yo, there are so many garbage cans here. I bet if you tried you could piss in that one from here.
Dude #2: Gross, man!
Dude #1: Okay, well, here goes! –Coney Island, New York
Tanned man #1: Look at those fags over there!
Tanned man #2: Which ones?
Tanned man #1: The two over there, sitting with those four hot girls with the fine asses, big tits, and tiny bikinis.
Tanned man #2: Wait. You and I are alone. Those two guys have two girls each. Sounds like we’re the fags. –Myrtle Beach, South Carolina Overheard by: D Meyers
Cheesy 15-year-old boy: I can’t believe you were about to go up to him and say that. Ha, ha, ha.
Cheesy 15-year-old girl: Wouldn’t be the first time I made someone cry.
Cheesy 15-year-old boy: You’re a whore. –Ocean City, New Jersey
Chick: I can’t stand it when people smoke at the beach. It’s such a wrong thing to do in a place like this.
Dude: Smoking at the beach is like killing someone at a birthday party.
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Peter
Chick: Fuck, I stepped on a piece of glass!
Dude: Was it beach glass?
Chick: I don’t know… We’re at the beach… Probably.
–Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: monkey
Guy #1: I’ve been married for eleven years. My wife and I are always looking for ways to keep our relationship fresh.
Girl: I’ve heard having sex in different rooms of the house helps that.
Guy #2: My wife and I just have sex with different people.
–Santa Monica Pier, California
Guy staring at topless girl speaks rapidly in Norwegian, then: Topless! Yay!
–Fraser Island, Queensland, Australia
A punk passes an 80-year-old woman in a t-shirt emblazoned with the word ‘Hottie.’
Punk: I’d hit it.
–Boardwalk, Ocean City, Maryland
Clothed guy: Hey, got any change?
Nude guy, waving his hands in the air: I got no pockets!
–Wreck Beach, British Columbia, Canadia