Chick: Fuck, I stepped on a piece of glass!
Dude: Was it beach glass?
Chick: I don’t know… We’re at the beach… Probably.
–Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: monkey
Archive for the ‘Health & Hygiene’ Category
She Could Be a Piñata that Hasn't Been Hung
Guy pointing out girl with tampon string hanging out of her bikini: Dude, that chick is either on her period, or she just fucked a tea bag. –Bronte Beach, Sydney, Australia Overheard by: Hamish The Li
On the Other Hand, if Her Nails are Fake…
Black chick walks by two white guys on the beach.
White guy #1: She is pretty hot. I’m gonna go talk to her.
White guy #2: Chicks like that always have some huge black dude waiting to beat your ass for looking at them.
White guy #1: I can tell she dates white men.
White guy #2: How?
White guy #1: Her tits are fake.
–South Beach, Florida
Overheard by: PS
The Ocean's Only for Crapping In
Teen girl #1: I can’t believe people pee in the ocean — it’s so gross.
Teen girl #2: I know, right!
Teen girl #1: Yeah, I only pee in swimming pools. It’s cleaner.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: I prefer the toilet
Well It Is a Dirty Photo.
White girl, reviewing nude pictures of Hispanic girl: That's why I would hate to be darker. Her vagina looks dirty.
–Deerfield Beach, Florida
Or Am I Thinking Of a Yeast Infection?
Drunk boy: Anemic? Isn't that when you eat too much white bread?
–Poolside, Perth, Australia
Sure It's Not the Sweet Pangs Of Love?
Nagging wife on bicycle to defeated downtrodden husband on bicycle: The more I talk to you, the more my stomach is getting aggravated… 'cause you're an asshole!
–South Beach Boardwalk, New York
Overheard by: J9 and G-Rod
Parasiteseeing Is Why People Go to Jones Beach
Boy, about people stepping on crabs: Looks like I'm not the only one with crab problems.
–Jones Beach, New York
I Did Fall in the Ocean, Though
Bag lady: Weren't you gonna wash yo' hair?
Hobo: That was las' week!
Bag lady: Well, didja?
Hobo: No.
–Miami, Florida
Overheard by: larry
Ooo, and If We Went to the Hairdresser and Got Bangs…
Older lady #1: You know they have a hot stone massage?
Older lady #2: Really?
Older lady #1: Yeah! It sounds really nice.
Older lady #2: Maybe we should get them! Then we can get shirts that say “I got stoned in Miami”
Older lady #1, laughing: We could.
Older lady #2: No, but I actually want to get them and wear that shirt.
–Elemis Spa, Miami Beach, Florida