Nagging wife on bicycle to defeated downtrodden husband on bicycle: The more I talk to you, the more my stomach is getting aggravated… 'cause you're an asshole! –South Beach Boardwalk, New York Overheard by: J9 and G-Rod
Little boy with faux tattoo heading to wading pool: Hey, let’s all get in the pool and get naked!
Little girl: With you? Ewww! –Sea Colony, Bethany Beach, Delaware Overheard by: RexGee
Girl #1: Things happen for a reason, you know.
Girl #2: Yeah… It's probably good that I'm not rich. If I were rich, I'd be such a bitch!
Girl #1: Oh, I know! I'd still love you, but you'd be a total bitch.
Girl #2: Ugh… I can just hear me now: (total val voice) I'm going shopping! (normal voice) Ugh… My dad would spoil me.
Girl #1: I know! My dad too!
Girl #2: Our dads are too nice!
Girl #1: Maybe that's why god made them poor.
Girl #2: Yeah… He knew we'd be terrible people. –Nathan's, Coney Island, New York Overheard by: Wondering if I sound like this to other people
Dude #1: You know, that guy we call Ass.
Dude #2: You call the guy Ass? Why?
Dude #1: Because he smells like ass. Do you want to hear the rest of my story or not? –Plum Island, Massachusetts
Child: Does that man have an accent?
Mother: He might just be retarded. –Hampton Beach, New Hampshire Overheard by: Rex
Mother, loudly: Oh my God, get over here! Turn around!
Teen daughter: What! What’s on me?!
Mother: A stretch mark! That’s what! Right there on your hip! You have got to lay off the chips! We are on vacation here. You shouldn’t be stress-eating!
Teen daughter: Mom! Shut up! People can hear you.
Mother: No, no one is listening, and besides, they can all see it, too.
Kayaking instructor: Does everyone have their life vests on? Good now I’d like you all to pair up, and for this first run we are going to pair up with someone you don’t know.
Daughter: Thank God!
Mother: What? –Bayville, New Jersey
Guy #1: Let's go local hunting.
Hot girl: I don't want to go fucking local hunting.
Guy #2: You should, it's mad fun. We went to this local party once and got kicked out.
Guy #1: Yeah, but we got the number of this kid who lives here.
Ugly girl: Wait. People live here? –Westhampton Beach, New York Overheard by: Doesn't live there
Over-dressed and self-important guy on cell: No, no, it was some sort of implement she was calling us… No… Rubber? A douchebag? I’ve heard that before. –Pacific Palisades, California Overheard by: ear of the betafish
JAP #1: So yeah, Aaron* and Rachel* hooked up last night.
JAP #2: Oh my god! What a fucking slut!
JAP #1: Didn’t you and Rachel give Aaron a blow job last week, at the same time?
JAP #2: Yeah, so… Your point?
JAP #1: Oh, nevermind… Just wanted to know what you thought was slutty and what wasn’t. –Boca Beach Club, Boca Raton, Florida Overheard by: glad i picked the boca hotel to stay at..
Guy #1: What happened to the girl you were seeing in Phoenix?
Guy #2: She broke up with me because I had too much baggage.
Guy #3: Wait! Was that the anorexic/bulimic with depression that was hooked on painkillers and ecstasy?
Guy #2: Yep.
Guy #1: You ever fuck her while she threw up?
Guy #2: You’re a sick fuck. (long pause) Yeah.
Guy #3: There is so much wrong with this conversation. –Pacific Beach, California