Overheard At The Beach

Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category

Babysitters from the Projects are Just More Affordable

Boy: Good looks!
Girl: Good looks?
Boy: Yeah, that’s what black people say. –Rockaway Beach, Queens, New York Overheard by: Sparky

It's the Ashes of Dead Mouseketeers

Redneck mother: Where’d all this sand come from?
Redneck daughter: Disney, probably. –Daytona Beach, Florida Overheard by: Angela Cimato

It's All Gone Downhill Since the Tooth Fairy Started Subcontracting

Lifeguard: What happened to your toenail?
Little boy: A monster carried it off a while ago. Around kindergarten, I think.

–Long Beach, California

Overheard by: Super Sexy Woman

No, 'Take It Off,' by The Donnas

Little girl: Mommy, where’s the rest of your bathing suit?
Mother: It’s called a ‘thong,’ honey.
Little girl: Like that song?
Mother: Yes, honey, just like the song. Little girl hums ‘Thong Song.’ –West Palm Beach, Florida

Whatever He's Talking about, It Shrinks in the Water

Tween boy #1: It is bigger than yours.
Tween boy #2: No, it’s not. Besides, it doesn’t matter. They are only sand castles.
Tween boy #1: I wasn’t talking about that. –Clearwater Beach, Florida Overheard by: MangoJoe

Eat it! Eat It, You Round-Eyed Son of a Bitch!

Mom to little boy: If you keep digging that damn hole, a Chinese man is going to pop out and make you eat rice. –Virginia Beach, Virginia Overheard by: Sheph

…Have Some Fucking Family Fun!

Attractive dad in front of giant sting ray swim tank: There will always be times in your life where you will have fear, but when you do it anyway, it makes it easier the next time. Okay, buddy?
Skinny eight-year-old with snot dripping down his nose: (nods)
Attractive dad: Okay, let's go.

–Discovery Cove, Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: I was scared

And Terrorists Are Da Bomb.

Eight-year-old boy to random adult: I want to be a terrorist just like my grandpa!
Shocked random adult: Wouldn't you rather be a police officer or a Texas Ranger or something?
Eight-year-old boy: No. They don't get paaaaaid!

–New Smyrna Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Rachel Marie