Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category

Dude, I Think She's Advertising!

Preteen boy #1, whispering to pal: Dude! Look at that girl lying over there. Her bikini’s pulled up so tight it’s up in her snatch.
Preteen boy #2, whispering back: Quiet… Damn!
Preteen boy #1: What’s that sticking out?
Preteen boy #2: I think it’s hair, dude.
Preteen boy #1: They got hair down there?
[they high-five each other]
Preteen boy #1: It’s kind of gross and cool at the same time. –Padre Island, Texas

It's Never Too Early for Internet Porn

Little boy: Hey! What’s your name? Little girl walking along shore doesn’t look at him. Little boy: Hey! What’s your name?! Little girl looks at boy but continues walking. Little boy: What’s your name?! What’s your naaaaame?!
Mother of girl: It’s Jade. Mother whispers to girl and points in boy’s direction, but girl continues walking in other direction. Surfer dude: Yeah, kid, you can only expect more of that as you get older. –Pomano Beach, Florida

A+ Nose-Picking, Though.

Older brother: Okay, okay, run around and grab all the sand and pick it up and throw it on the ground as fast as you can.
(little brother stares cluelessly at older brother)
Older brother: No, you fail! –Long Beach Island, New Jersey Overheard by: Joseph Hammerman