Eight-year-old boy: … So I whipped out my peanut and had sex with the sheets… –Near the Steeplechase, Coney Island Beach, New York Overheard by: beach soccer bum
Mom: Are you ready to go?
Little girl: No!
Mom: Okay, let’s go! –Sarasota, Florida Overheard by: wondering why she bothered to ask
Bald man to baby on blanket (in baby voice): Do you have somethin' to say? Are you thinkin'? Are you thinkin'? Yes you are.
Woman next to him: He's pooping.
Bald man: Are you poopin'? Are you poopin'? Yes you are! –Sunset Beach, North Carolina Overheard by: Emma
Four-year-old boy, crouched behind a sand wall, yelling at friends running from waves: Hold your positions! I said, “Hold your positions!” –Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Little girl voice: Get a flame thrower! (a few minutes later) Firegirl gets iced! –Oceanside, California Overheard by: What goes on in my neighborhood?
Foreign single father: So, are you guys having fun at the beach?
Son: Actually, yeah — it’s fun.
Foreign single father: Next time, have positive attitude from the start.
Son: No, that was ’cause before when you said, ‘Let’s go to the beach,’ I thought we were gonna visit Mom. –Lake Erie, Ontario, Canadia Overheard by: native english speaker
Small boy running back from the ocean: Mom! I have to pee!
Mom: Just go in the ocean.
Boy: I tried, but the waves kept pushing my pants back up! –Bethany Beach, Delaware
Kid: Mom, where are we going?
Mom: Just walk straight!
Kid: Where’s straight?! –Robert Moses Beach, New York Overheard by: Gwast
Little boy with ice cream: They gonna manhandle me! –Virginia Beach, Virginia Overheard by: Audrey
Girl: Hey, Daddy, look, I am riding a giant sand penis.
Daddy: I really don’t want to ever hear you say that again.
Girl: Daddy, do you want to ride the giant sand penis? –Biloxi, Mississippi Overheard by: Lori Lou Who