Boy, about people stepping on crabs: Looks like I'm not the only one with crab problems. –Jones Beach, New York
Mom: Honey, what are you doing?
Daughter: Going under the umbrella, because I don’t want my butt to get parched. –Jones Beach, New York Overheard by: Kara
Little boy: My daddy isn’t here.
Girl #1: He isn’t here? Where is he?
Little boy: In the garbage.
Girl #2: Why is he in the garbage?
Little boy: He is in the garbage.
Girl #1: Why?
Little boy: Because he doesn’t like my Skechers. –Cocoa Beach, Florida Overheard by: megan
Dad to buddy’s tween daughter: Susie*, can you get me another beer from the cooler?
Susie: Wow, Jerry, you’re an alcoholic.
Dad’s own tween daughter: My dad is not an alcoholic, he just drinks fast! –Long Island, New York
Little girl: No, no, no. Mommy calls her vagina a monkey. –St George Island, Florida Overheard by: say what?
Little girl: Do you have a stronger brain or a stronger heart?
Little girl: You?
Dad: Both. –Rye, New York Overheard by: Lobster
Five-year-old at the beach: This is the worst day of my life! –Brighton, England
Mom to little boy: If you keep digging that damn hole, a Chinese man is going to pop out and make you eat rice. –Virginia Beach, Virginia Overheard by: Sheph
Middle aged tourist yelling frantically to children in the water: Get out, get out! There's sharks!
Teenager with skimboard: Actually, those are a school of stingrays. They're quite harmle…
Middle age mother, cutting him off: Shaaarks! Get out now! –Clearwater Beach, Florida Overheard by: Jonica Grompson
Toddler pointing to cotton candy: I want that ice cream!
Mom: That’s not ice cream.
Toddler: What is it?
Mom: That’s insulation. It’s for your attic. –Rehoboth Beach, Delaware Overheard by: Aaron