Really loud fat lady: Fat old guys drive nice cars to get with the young pretty girls. –Public parking lot, Seaside, Oregon Overheard by: Drewlicious
Rich lady with yappy dog: Well, ‘Caucasian’ has ‘Asian’ in it. Then again, there’s a ‘turd’ in every ‘Saturday.’ –Golden Gardens Park, Seattle, Washington Overheard by: Disturbed
Woman: That bitch must have one of those fun house mirrors that she looks thin in, because that ass in that suit is just wrong, wrong, wrong. –Playa Del Carmen, Mexico
Woman on beach towel: I’ve never met a ferret that didn’t bite me.
Overheard by: Laura From Aurora
Wife to another: If you get a frappucino, make sure it's a white chocolate frappucino, because the dark part of the chocolate is where all the calories live.
–Starbucks, Santa Barbara
Lady on cell: And sushi (points at her chihuahua) stops to look for you, but I tell her you're at work and she laughs.
–Tamarama Beach, Australia
Overheard by: GGary
Lady in vehicle on cell: I mean, she wants to know everything, and it's really getting annoying, I'm like “mom, Jesus Christ, hey, I took a shit today, you want to know if it floated or if it sank?”
Overheard by: Elise
Lady #1: They could have been Koreans.
Lady #2: But they count, don't they?
–Cape Cod Beach, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Nancy and Andrea
Elderly woman wearing metal curlers, on cell: So I was masturbating to Human Centipede the other day, and it occurred to me I haven't gone to mass in like, forever!
Older lady #1: You know they have a hot stone massage?
Older lady #2: Really?
Older lady #1: Yeah! It sounds really nice.
Older lady #2: Maybe we should get them! Then we can get shirts that say “I got stoned in Miami”
Older lady #1, laughing: We could.
Older lady #2: No, but I actually want to get them and wear that shirt.
–Elemis Spa, Miami Beach, Florida