Woman on beach towel: I’ve never met a ferret that didn’t bite me.
–Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Laura From Aurora
Archive for the ‘Ladies’ Category
What Happened to Gray, Windowless Vans?
Really loud fat lady: Fat old guys drive nice cars to get with the young pretty girls. –Public parking lot, Seaside, Oregon Overheard by: Drewlicious
From Etymology to Racism in One Easy Step
Rich lady with yappy dog: Well, ‘Caucasian’ has ‘Asian’ in it. Then again, there’s a ‘turd’ in every ‘Saturday.’ –Golden Gardens Park, Seattle, Washington Overheard by: Disturbed
When the Doors of Perception are Cleansed, Man Will See Her Ass as It Truly is: Infinite
Woman: That bitch must have one of those fun house mirrors that she looks thin in, because that ass in that suit is just wrong, wrong, wrong. –Playa Del Carmen, Mexico
According to Paris Hilton's Guide to Biology
Wife to another: If you get a frappucino, make sure it's a white chocolate frappucino, because the dark part of the chocolate is where all the calories live.
–Starbucks, Santa Barbara
Note to Self: Steal Dog, Feed to Sharks
Lady on cell: And sushi (points at her chihuahua) stops to look for you, but I tell her you're at work and she laughs.
–Tamarama Beach, Australia
Overheard by: GGary
Mom Rates Them on the Same Scale As Figure-Skating
Lady in vehicle on cell: I mean, she wants to know everything, and it's really getting annoying, I'm like “mom, Jesus Christ, hey, I took a shit today, you want to know if it floated or if it sank?”
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Elise
They Don't Just Count– They Add, Subtract, Divide…
Lady #1: They could have been Koreans.
Lady #2: But they count, don't they?
–Cape Cod Beach, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Nancy and Andrea
Story Of My Life, Ma'am.
Elderly woman wearing metal curlers, on cell: So I was masturbating to Human Centipede the other day, and it occurred to me I haven't gone to mass in like, forever!
–Tampa, Florida
Ooo, and If We Went to the Hairdresser and Got Bangs…
Older lady #1: You know they have a hot stone massage?
Older lady #2: Really?
Older lady #1: Yeah! It sounds really nice.
Older lady #2: Maybe we should get them! Then we can get shirts that say “I got stoned in Miami”
Older lady #1, laughing: We could.
Older lady #2: No, but I actually want to get them and wear that shirt.
–Elemis Spa, Miami Beach, Florida