Woman on cell: No, it wasn’t a yeast infection. It’s not a fishy smell, and I have cramps. I never get cramps!… Yeah…Maybe that’s why he’s not calling me back. –Coney Island, New York Overheard by: Kimmie David
Jersey woman, to seagull: Get away, you lazy sonofabitch! Go find your own food! [to friends] Just like Mexicans. –Wildwood, New Jersey Overheard by: Dan
Woman #1: I don’t mind sand in my bathing suit or sand up my butt, but I don’t want sand in my mouth!
Woman #2: Really?
Woman #1: Yup!
Woman #2: Well, I guess that makes sense. There are a lot of things I would rather have in my butt than in my mouth. –Hampton Beach, New Hampshire Overheard by: velma
Old lady at car: Henry, wait for me!
Old man carrying beach chairs half a block ahead of her: Dammit, Agnes, I’m going! I’ve been waiting for you for 40 years! –Beach near Naples, Florida Overheard by: X
Wife to husband: Baby, don’t get out in the water! Those kids will be hanging on you like remoras! –Grand Isle, Louisiana
Parking lot attendant: Thirty dollars.
Woman: Last time I was here, you charged me five dollars.
Parking lot attendant: I should be charging you the same amount as it is degrees outside. I should be charging you like ninety three dollars. –Hampton Beach, New Hampshire Overheard by: arc, mich
Women on cell walking down a 2-mile beach: I am right by the water. Where are you? –Long Beach, New York Overheard by: Antzolino
Woman #1: Italian men make the best lovers.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: They have lots of stamina. They last longer and their penises are bigger.
Woman #2: What’s the opposite of that? –Wellfleet, Massachusetts
Middle-aged lady #1: He keeps calling me on the cell phone telling me he’ll be right there and I’m like, ‘I’ve been waiting 25 years, I’m leaving!’
Middle-aged lady #2: And my poor granddaughter is there, and we’re all hugging on each other… –Cabrillo Beach, California Overheard by: confused
Elderly woman wearing metal curlers, on cell: So I was masturbating to Human Centipede the other day, and it occurred to me I haven't gone to mass in like, forever! –Tampa, Florida