Amateur oncologist: Having a baby? That’s like growing a tumor with a brain inside of you. –Good Harbor Beach, Gloucester, Massachusetts Overheard by: concerned citizens
Tourist lady #1: Do you think the melon is any good? Should I give it to the kids?
Tourist man: Why? What’s wrong with it?
Tourist lady #1: It was on the counter earlier for an hour or so.
Tourist lady #2: Oh, no, I’d ask someone else.
Tourist lady #1, loudly, to others in group: Do you think the melon is any good? I’m not sure I should give it to the kids.
Group members: Why? I don’t know if you should! Do the kids like melon? Was it warm when it was out?
Male stranger in line: Are you retahded?! Just give them the fuckin’ melon! –Crane Beach, Ipswich, Massachusetts Overheard by: Buhaj
Boston woman in her late 50s: … And it’s not like it used to be. Jamaica Plain has become so culturally diverse… It’s so unfortunate!
Sunburned woman in her late 50s: Um. Where is that sunscreen? –Surfside Beach, Nantucket, Massachusetts Overheard by: KP
Wife: Frank, you heard about the 11 second rule?
Husband, staring at hot nude chick nearby: What?
Wife: The 11 second rule. If the cops catch you staring at breasts for more than 11 seconds, you have to go to jail.
Husband: No way.
Wife: And keep in mind, there are lots of gay men on this beach. –Race Point Nude Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Dramatic guy to woman at seaside restaurant: DC? Washington, DC, did you ask? DC is a fuckfest!
Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Bikini girl to friend: Yeah, I'd suck a dick for an iPod touch. –Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Movie critic #1: You know that movie, with Tom Hanks, where he plays the drunk baseball player? And the women are the players because the men are gone?
Movie critic #2: Where?
Movie critic #3: To war.
Movie critic #2: So the women played baseball? That wasn’t a movie.
Movie critic #1: You know, the movie has that star that’s on TV. Bette Davis’ daughter.
Movie critic #3: Who? Debate goes on for several minutes. Movie critic #1: Wait, it’s Geena Davis! She’s Betty Davis’ daughter! See the resemblence in the eyes?
Movie critic #3: Didn’t Betty Davis hate Geena because she was tall?
Movie critic #1: Well, she got the part anyway, didn’t she? Geesh, I wish I could remember the name of that movie! –Nauset Beach, Eastham, Massachusetts
Seven-year-old girl with net, shouting to friend and running to the water: Come on, Meghan! This is a humongous scientific emergency! –Wellfleet, Massachusetts
Dude #1: You know, that guy we call Ass.
Dude #2: You call the guy Ass? Why?
Dude #1: Because he smells like ass. Do you want to hear the rest of my story or not? –Plum Island, Massachusetts
Girlfriend: It’s so beautiful here in Cape Cod. Wasn’t David Copperfield set in Cape Cod?
Boyfriend: Wait? You mean like the magician? –Ferry to Nantucket, Massachusetts Overheard by: JFN