Archive for the ‘Moms’ Category

Let Him Ride (the Waves) on Me?

Underage girl: Oh, my God. Look at that guy. He’s so fucking hot.
Bartender, sarcastically: Oooh, nice. Maybe if you show him your boobs, he’ll buy you a drink?
Underage girl: You think so?
Mom: No way. You’re as flat as a surfboard. If you want that guy to buy you a drink, you’d have to do a lot more than show him your boobs. –The Seafood Bar, The Breakers, Palm Beach, Florida Overheard by: The JAP

Mom's Backup Plan was to Pretend to Drown

Girl: Am I going to have big boobs?
Flat-chested mom: Um, probably not.
Girl: But boys like big boobs!
Flat-chested mom: Only dumb boys do, because only dumb girls have big boobs.
Girl, after thinking for a minute: Grandma has huge ones.
Flat-chested mom: Oooh, look at the pretty birds! –Panama City Beach, Florida

Belinda Calls 'em As She Sees 'em

Guy standing in front of store: I can't believe it! That little girl just said “asshole”! I can't believe it! (gestures at two-year-old inside parked car)
Little girl: Asshole!
Guy: I can't believe it that little girl said “asshole” again!
Mother: Ni-iiice. –Tampa, Florida Overheard by: ISPgypsy