Mom to little boy: You do not pee on somebody unless they ask you to! –Ocean Isle Beach, North Carolina Overheard by: mad-the-hatter
Son (looking at man in Speedo): Mom! Look at that man! He's wearing a bikini without a top! –Long Island, New York
Mom: Are you ready to go?
Little girl: No!
Mom: Okay, let’s go! –Sarasota, Florida Overheard by: wondering why she bothered to ask
Woman, to teenaged daughter: Too bad he’s a pedophile. I was going to ask him to DJ for your party. –The Esplanade in Capitola, California Overheard by: Katie O
Father to 14-month-old daughter: Can daddy get a table dance?”
(toddler starts to bounce up and down)
Mother, taking daughter from father's arms: No, because she wants to give her mama a lap dance!
Disgusted uncle: This is so wrong on so many levels… –Doheny State Beach, Dana Point, California Overheard by: Glad I'm related by marriage
Young teen girl: Hey, Mom, Dad told me to ask you, and I’m quoting him, to ‘Please leave a couple of drinks for him before your fat ass hogs them all.’
Mom: Tell your father that he had better be nicer to me or else I’m going to leave his ass for a sexy Latin man named Esteban… again. And you can quote me on that! –Del Mar, California Overheard by: Jess the Pirate
Kid: Mom, where are we going?
Mom: Just walk straight!
Kid: Where’s straight?! –Robert Moses Beach, New York Overheard by: Gwast
Kayaking girl #1: Mom, where do we go?
Kayaking mom: Oh, why don't we go to the other side of the island?
Kayaking girl #2: No, we can't! I heard they had guns and spears over there–I don't wanna get shot! –Sugarbay, St. Thomas, South Africa Overheard by: yams
Mom to kid: Shooting it up my ass?! Not a good idea! –Jacksonville Beach, Florida Overheard by: Laura L. Davis
Kid: Mom, how come the birds are wrestling each other?
Mom: They hate each other, that’s why. –Children’s Beach, Nantucket, Massachusetts Overheard by: I know why the caged bird sings