Boy, about people stepping on crabs: Looks like I'm not the only one with crab problems. –Jones Beach, New York
Mom to son as he runs off to play: Don’t touch the sand! Don’t touch the sand! –Long Beach, New York Overheard by: Jawdropped
Mom: Honey, what are you doing?
Daughter: Going under the umbrella, because I don’t want my butt to get parched. –Jones Beach, New York Overheard by: Kara
Woman on cell: No, it wasn’t a yeast infection. It’s not a fishy smell, and I have cramps. I never get cramps!… Yeah…Maybe that’s why he’s not calling me back. –Coney Island, New York Overheard by: Kimmie David
Dad to buddy’s tween daughter: Susie*, can you get me another beer from the cooler?
Susie: Wow, Jerry, you’re an alcoholic.
Dad’s own tween daughter: My dad is not an alcoholic, he just drinks fast! –Long Island, New York
Brunette: When's your anniversary?
Brunette: Oh, today?
Blonde: No, May.
Brunette: Oh, mine too.
Blond: When's your anniversary?
Brunette: May. –Rockaway Beach, New York
Girl #1: That’s why I love the beach, there’s always someone in a bathing suit who looks worse than you!
Random beach dude: Sorry hun, today that’s just not the case.
Girl #2: Oh my god. –Lake Ontario, New York
Little girl: Do you have a stronger brain or a stronger heart?
Little girl: You?
Dad: Both. –Rye, New York Overheard by: Lobster
Girl #1: It was really awkward with him last night, he kept putting his hand in his back pocket and down the back of his jeans.
Girl #2: Maybe he had an itch on his ass?
Girl #1: It was worse then that: he started rubbing his ass on the bar stool. –Jones Beach, Long Island, New York
Angry father, trying to climb into boat with son: Turn off the fucking engine, man! I've got a fucking five-year-old here! Jesus, use your fucking head! –The Hamptons, New York