Teen girl #1: I can’t believe people pee in the ocean — it’s so gross.
Teen girl #2: I know, right!
Teen girl #1: Yeah, I only pee in swimming pools. It’s cleaner.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: I prefer the toilet
Archive for the ‘Pee’ Category
Later, I'll Be Tugging on Superman's Cape and Messing around with Jim
Dude #1: Yo, there are so many garbage cans here. I bet if you tried you could piss in that one from here.
Dude #2: Gross, man!
Dude #1: Okay, well, here goes!
–Coney Island, New York
Gatorade Grows on You.
Guy: This tastes like nuclear horse piss!
–Jones Beach Theater, New York
What "Tubthumping'" Is About
Guy to son, pouring Hawaiian punch into kids cup: Boy, you gonna be pissin' tonight!
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Sandwich
Subtle Childrearing Is Very Hard to Pull Off
Hysterical mom to toddler in bathroom stall: Goddamit Jeffrey, stop trying to pull it off and just piss out of it!
–Bathroom Stall, Mall, Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
Submitter Needs to Get Over Himself
Mother: Remember: when you have to use the bathroom at the beach, you go in the water, right?
Toddler: Okay, mommy.
–East Hampton, New York
Overheard by: I'll never swim again
Like, for Instance, Why They Call Me "Wolf Breath"
Man outside single bathroom door: Wolf breath, what are you doing in there?
Woman, from inside bathroom: What the fuck do you think I'm doing in here? What the fuck do you do in the bathroom?
Man outside bathroom: Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to.
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Lisa Mavinelli
The Question Is, Who's Smelling It?
Daughter: Mom, why do you have to go to the bathroom already? We just went a few minutes ago!
Mother: I don't know… I guess I'm like a dog, I have to leave my scent everywhere…
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Winter In Maine Is …Less Than Exciting
Suburban tourist #1: Remember that time when I threw the cat out in the snow and that guy was staring at me?
Suburban tourist #2: And then John got christened by the cat.
Suburban tourist #1: Yeah, I don't think that cat had peed in six months. It was like a fire hose.
Wife: That John and his temper…
–All Day Breakfast, Kennebunkport, Maine
Overheard by: Amused Locals
At Least, I Think It Was Mine
50-something woman: My pee was sort of yellowish today!
Younger friend: (nods earnestly)
–Mission Valley, San Diego, California
Overheard by: Thank Goodness!