Brainiac: Are you allowed to skinny dip here?
–Nude beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Archive for the ‘Physical Appearance’ Category
You Mean While You Were Out Spreading Herpes?
Girl to friend in hot-pants: What have you been doing besides looking fat in those shorts all day?
–Lake Michigan
No, 'Take It Off,' by The Donnas
Little girl: Mommy, where’s the rest of your bathing suit?
Mother: It’s called a ‘thong,’ honey.
Little girl: Like that song?
Mother: Yes, honey, just like the song.
Little girl hums ‘Thong Song.’
–West Palm Beach, Florida
What Happened to Gray, Windowless Vans?
Really loud fat lady: Fat old guys drive nice cars to get with the young pretty girls. –Public parking lot, Seaside, Oregon Overheard by: Drewlicious
They're the First Warning Signs of Congenital Stupidity
Little Miss Texas slathering on more baby oil: I don’t know why I’m gettin’ all these little wrinkles around my eyes, do y’all?
–Waikiki Beach, Hawaii
He'll Find Out about It Online Eventually
Drunk mother #1: I met him at a bar. He looked like George Clooney… But we’ll see.
Drunk mother #2: Wait, aren’t you dating someone?
Drunk mother #1: Not anymore. He just doesn’t know it yet.
–Daytona Beach, Florida
Every Time a New Johnny Depp Movie Comes Out, Fashion Dies a Little
Queer to boyfriend: You’d look so hot with a peg leg! Fire Island Boulevard, Fire Island, New York Overheard by: Bryan
Are You as Wet as I Am?
Girl #1: There are a lot of boobs here.
Girl #2: Yeah, but they are all 60 years old, fat, and saggy.
–Valencia, Spain
Overheard by: Rolo
But Having It in My Urethra was Worse
Man on cell: Oh my god, she did that, and I thought getting sand in my crack was bad… –Atlantic Beach, North Carolina
The Ants are Always Hogging the Spots Under the Magnifying Glass
Teen boy: Ugh. This tanning oil gets so hot! Maybe it will fry off my back zits. Hey, move over, I want to lay down so the sun will burn off my back zits. –Beach, Rhode Island