Preppy 30-something guy: I mean, all the clubs in Europe are naked clubs now. (pause) Seriously, like, everybody’s naked! –Indian Wells Beach, New York
Woman walker #1: I would never go out with him–his head is huge, his clothes are always wrinkled, and he doesn't shower.
Woman walker #2: Ugh.
Woman walker #1: Besides, he smokes.
Woman walker #2: But you smoke, too!
Woman walker #1: I know, but I never date smokers. –Lake Miramar, California Overheard by: El Meech
Movie critic #1: You know that movie, with Tom Hanks, where he plays the drunk baseball player? And the women are the players because the men are gone?
Movie critic #2: Where?
Movie critic #3: To war.
Movie critic #2: So the women played baseball? That wasn’t a movie.
Movie critic #1: You know, the movie has that star that’s on TV. Bette Davis’ daughter.
Movie critic #3: Who? Debate goes on for several minutes. Movie critic #1: Wait, it’s Geena Davis! She’s Betty Davis’ daughter! See the resemblence in the eyes?
Movie critic #3: Didn’t Betty Davis hate Geena because she was tall?
Movie critic #1: Well, she got the part anyway, didn’t she? Geesh, I wish I could remember the name of that movie! –Nauset Beach, Eastham, Massachusetts
Little girl: Mommy, where’s the rest of your bathing suit?
Mother: It’s called a ‘thong,’ honey.
Little girl: Like that song?
Mother: Yes, honey, just like the song. Little girl hums ‘Thong Song.’ –West Palm Beach, Florida
Girl #1: Look at that guy's head. It's so weirdly shaped.
Girl #2: Why does it do that at the back? Like, what's with the way it folds at the back?
Girl #1: Oooh, he has some nicely shaped biceps, though! Wow!
Girl #2: Yeah, he makes it obvious by putting his arms up like that to distract from his head.
Girl #1: He's totally doing that.
Girl #2: He's sitting there going, “hey ladies, don't look at my oddly shaped head. Look at my nicely shaped biceps instead.” (pause) Hey, that rhymed. –Long Beach, California Overheard by: Rachel
Preteen boy #1, whispering to pal: Dude! Look at that girl lying over there. Her bikini’s pulled up so tight it’s up in her snatch.
Preteen boy #2, whispering back: Quiet… Damn!
Preteen boy #1: What’s that sticking out?
Preteen boy #2: I think it’s hair, dude.
Preteen boy #1: They got hair down there?
[they high-five each other]
Preteen boy #1: It’s kind of gross and cool at the same time. –Padre Island, Texas
Girl #1: So I remembered to raise my eyebrows in the picture… Hey, want to see? (pulls out driver's license).
Girl #2: I just leave mine in the car.
Girl #1: Your eyebrows? –Hartford, Wisconsin Overheard by: Eating icecream at the time
Girl #1: And she was like, “Is it too blonde?”
Girl #2: Ah! Like, you can never be too blonde!
Girl #1: Exactly. –Los Angeles, California Overheard by: J.J.
Lifeguard to group of other lifeguards, as rescued 14-year-old swimmer walks away: Did anyone notice all her hickies? –North Bondi, Australia Overheard by: Ggary
Elderly husband to leather-tanned wife taking top off on the beach: Jesus Christ, Mary! Put those things away,will you? Nobody wants to see that. –Playa Del Carmen, Mexico