Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category

If I Do You, Will You Be Nice to Me?

Girl: So, out of all the people in this circle, who have you been sexually involved with?
Queer: Does pecking count?
Girl: Yes. Queer points at everyone. Girl 1: You man-whore! So, if pecking doesn’t count, who have you done anything with?
Queer: Everyone except her.
Girl: So you’re still a whore. –Centennial Beach, British Columbia, Canadia Overheard by: shutterbug

Somehow That Makes It Much Worse

Tween boy #1: Dude, I’m gonna cleave the beaver.
Tween boy #2: When?
Tween boy #1: Tonight.
Tween boy #2: Sweet. You’ll have to tell me how the beaver tastes.
Passerby: Do you even know what a beaver is?
Tween boy #2: Yeah, it’s an animal, stupid. –Beaver Island State Park, Grand Island, New York

Fictional Fucking Is So Much Neater Than the Real Thing

Old woman #1: So did you get that dirty book I was talking about?
Old woman #2: No, I couldn't find it. They don't sell them at Barnes and Noble. I have to look on Amazon.
Old woman #1: The one I read is really graphic. This girl is this room, watching two people doing it.
Old woman #2: Yeah, I'm saving some of them to read on the plane ride. –Sandy Hook, New Jersey Overheard by: caySAYhey