Skinny white guy, unaware that white girlfriend’s huge black brother is walking behind him: I don’t know why, but I just really want to fuck a black chick! –Robert Moses, New York Overheard by: Zep
Guy, looking at girlfriend's dog sniffing another dog: Dog breeding is awesome! –Newport Pier, Newport Beach, California
Girl: It's funny, when I first met you, you were a virgin, and now you fuck everybody!
Guy, whining: Shut up! –Smith Point, Long Island, New York Overheard by: Tom and Katie
10-year-old boy: We're going to have a hundred babies together.
14-year-old girl: What do you think I am?
10-year-old boy: A pregnant machine. –Tampa, Florida
Woman #1: Now you see that dude right there? That one in the green swim trunks.
Woman #2: Okaaaaay, yeah, I see him. The one with the red hair that's skimboarding?
Woman #1: Yeah, him. Now, I would so hook up with him. Look at those abs. Don't you just wanna run your hands all over him?
Girl slathered in tanning oil, staring at them: That's my boyfriend.
Woman #2: Oh. How long have you guys been going out?
Girl: Four months. What's it to you?
Woman #1: Just weighing our chances.
Girl: Chances of what?
Woman #2: Sleeping with him.
(girl makes disgusted noise and walks away).
Woman #2: Don' t worry, Shar. She's hideous. We'll follow them when they leave and the next time they go to a club or something, we'll hunt him down and get what we want.
Woman #1: We always do. Wait…which one of us gets to sleep with him? (they glance at each other, saying nothing) I've got a bigger rack. –Pismo Beach, California Overheard by: Matilda
Blonde girl on cell: That's not fair! Just because I want to actively pursue a sexual relationship with my thesis advisor does not mean you can call me a whore! (long pause) My boyfriend says he doesn't care. –Los Angeles, California
[Three ten-year-old boys cycling past the beach.]
Boy #1: Why you going so fast?!
Boy #2: [Missing front teeth, which makes him lisp.] Becauth he wath fucking her latht night!
Boy #3: What?!!! –Lake Calhoun Beach, Minneapolis, Minnesota Overheard by: They grow up quickly these days!
Girl #1: Ew, don’t swim in the water.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: ‘Cause fish have sex in it. Do you want to swallow fish sperm? –Ocean City, Maryland Overheard by: Izzie
Teen girl #1: Why the hell are we here?
Teen girl #2: Because we have nothing better to do.
Teen girl #1: Wait… why didn’t we call that guy who did that porno after high school? He’ll do us both. –Ashwaubomay Lake, Ashwaubenon, Wisconsin Overheard by: Lacy Magnolia
Drunk guy to others: Imagine how long it would take to fuck a spider. It would take ages! –Dunedin, New Zealand