Big-boobed lady to a man’s wife: Yes, they’re real. Would you like to feel for yourself? You’re staring at them more than your husband is. –New Smyrna Beach, Florida Overheard by: trying not to make like I was listening
College guy: Were you in the Airborne?
Guy in wheelchair wearing ‘Army Airborne’ hat and playing guitar for money: No, but the hat helps on holiday weekends. –Ocean City, Maryland
Man at parents’ 25th wedding anniversary party: Without my parents, I don’t know where I’d be today.
Random guest: In a Kleenex! –Party boat, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida Overheard by: Big Larry
Parking lot attendant: Thirty dollars.
Woman: Last time I was here, you charged me five dollars.
Parking lot attendant: I should be charging you the same amount as it is degrees outside. I should be charging you like ninety three dollars. –Hampton Beach, New Hampshire Overheard by: arc, mich
Pompous failed astronomer: So, the reason there was a half moon last night was that the Earth gets in between the sun and the moon [arranges water bottles to demonstrate]. It’s kind of like an eclipse, but the Earth only covers half the moon, so you see the rest.
Chick: Oh, okay. Interesting.
Pompous failed astronomer: It’s really just thinking logically. Something has to cast a shadow on the moon. –Bethany Beach, Delaware Overheard by: not the only one laughing at him
Tourist: Excuse me, are we at the right beach?
Tourist: We want to go to the beach where you can see the Golden Gate Bridge.
Local: It’s right there.
Local: Why am I talking to you again? –San Francisco, California
Girl: What kind of fish is this?
Waitress: Alaskan cod.
Girl: Do ya’ll catch that around here?
Waitress: Uh, no. [pointing] That’s the Gulf of Mexico. –Seafood restaurant, Galveston Island, Texas
Tourist: How do I get to the beach?
Local #1: Get on the 8 and go east.
Local #2: You're sending her east.
Local #1: Fuck her, she didn't say which beach. –Pacific Beach, California
Passing local, to little boy feeding seagulls: Hey, you don’t want to do that. They’ll attack you.
Little boy: Okay. Thank you. Local walks of earshot. Little boy: What a bitch. –St. Pete Beach, Florida Overheard by: sara
Bimbette looking at guy reading GRE study guide: What’s that?
Guy: Huh? [Bimbette points to title.] It’s a test I need to take to get my Master’s. [Bimbette looks confused.] It’s like the SATs for graduate school.
Bimbette: So you’re, like, smart and shit. [Guy stares at her and then walks away.] –St. Pete Beach, Florida Overheard by: Chicagoan in FL