Archive for the ‘Time’ Category

If Only There Was a Way We Could Both Get What We Want

Woman #1: Now you see that dude right there? That one in the green swim trunks.
Woman #2: Okaaaaay, yeah, I see him. The one with the red hair that's skimboarding?
Woman #1: Yeah, him. Now, I would so hook up with him. Look at those abs. Don't you just wanna run your hands all over him?
Girl slathered in tanning oil, staring at them: That's my boyfriend.
Woman #2: Oh. How long have you guys been going out?
Girl: Four months. What's it to you?
Woman #1: Just weighing our chances.
Girl: Chances of what?
Woman #2: Sleeping with him.
(girl makes disgusted noise and walks away).
Woman #2: Don' t worry, Shar. She's hideous. We'll follow them when they leave and the next time they go to a club or something, we'll hunt him down and get what we want.
Woman #1: We always do. Wait…which one of us gets to sleep with him? (they glance at each other, saying nothing) I've got a bigger rack. –Pismo Beach, California Overheard by: Matilda

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It's Important to Have Standards

Teen girl #1: Remember when Paul and Diane had sex at the beach last year?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, that shit’s so gross. Have you seen this water?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, there’s so much nasty shit in here.
Teen girl #2: That’s why I’ll only have sex at Jones — it’s much cleaner.
Teen girl #1: Def. –Rockaway, New York Overheard by: A. D.

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It's Never Too Early for Internet Porn

Little boy: Hey! What’s your name? Little girl walking along shore doesn’t look at him. Little boy: Hey! What’s your name?! Little girl looks at boy but continues walking. Little boy: What’s your name?! What’s your naaaaame?!
Mother of girl: It’s Jade. Mother whispers to girl and points in boy’s direction, but girl continues walking in other direction. Surfer dude: Yeah, kid, you can only expect more of that as you get older. –Pomano Beach, Florida

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