Teenage girl: Wait, so what time is midnight tonight? –Punta Cana, Mexico
Woman #1: Now you see that dude right there? That one in the green swim trunks.
Woman #2: Okaaaaay, yeah, I see him. The one with the red hair that's skimboarding?
Woman #1: Yeah, him. Now, I would so hook up with him. Look at those abs. Don't you just wanna run your hands all over him?
Girl slathered in tanning oil, staring at them: That's my boyfriend.
Woman #2: Oh. How long have you guys been going out?
Girl: Four months. What's it to you?
Woman #1: Just weighing our chances.
Girl: Chances of what?
Woman #2: Sleeping with him.
(girl makes disgusted noise and walks away).
Woman #2: Don' t worry, Shar. She's hideous. We'll follow them when they leave and the next time they go to a club or something, we'll hunt him down and get what we want.
Woman #1: We always do. Wait…which one of us gets to sleep with him? (they glance at each other, saying nothing) I've got a bigger rack. –Pismo Beach, California Overheard by: Matilda
Drunk guy to others: Imagine how long it would take to fuck a spider. It would take ages! –Dunedin, New Zealand
Old short man: When was the last time you were with an old and short man?
19-year-old girl: (silence) –Old Orchard Beach, Maine Overheard by: Stephanie Wall
Teen girl #1: Remember when Paul and Diane had sex at the beach last year?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, that shit’s so gross. Have you seen this water?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, there’s so much nasty shit in here.
Teen girl #2: That’s why I’ll only have sex at Jones — it’s much cleaner.
Teen girl #1: Def. –Rockaway, New York Overheard by: A. D.
Old lady at car: Henry, wait for me!
Old man carrying beach chairs half a block ahead of her: Dammit, Agnes, I’m going! I’ve been waiting for you for 40 years! –Beach near Naples, Florida Overheard by: X
Little boy: Hey! What’s your name?
Little girl walking along shore doesn’t look at him.
Little boy: Hey! What’s your name?!
Little girl looks at boy but continues walking.
Little boy: What’s your name?! What’s your naaaaame?!
Mother of girl: It’s Jade. Mother whispers to girl and points in boy’s direction, but girl continues walking in other direction. Surfer dude: Yeah, kid, you can only expect more of that as you get older. –Pomano Beach, Florida
Thug #1: It don’t feel like Sunday.
Thug #2: Yo, it don’t feel like a day of the week. –Miami Beach, Florida Overheard by: monkeybaba
Girl: Well, you get like half his money when you divorce!…And he’s in med school now. Alls I’m sayin’ is you should wait a few years. –Folly Beach, South Carolina
Early 30s woman: I was feeling bad, like I wasn’t on schedule or something. Then I saw who she was marrying and I didn’t feel so bad. –Lake Michigan, Illinois Overheard by: Midwest Values