Archive for the ‘Tourists’ Category

You Could Have Had a Friend in Pennsylvania, But Nooo…

Tourist guy: I hate these tourists! They think they’re so cool, just coming down for the weekend in their little homes, fucking up the traffic and making parking difficult. Go home!
Local teen: Your license plate says you’re from Pennsylvania.
Tourist guy: I rent for the summer. I guess I’m kinda like you, in a sense.
Local teen: Bitch, please.

–Bethany Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: beach native

Remember What Happened When You Tried to Do That at the Met?

Mexican tour guide: Virgin women between the ages of 19-24 were sacrificed at the top of the main temple to the sun god–
Bored Brit #1: –What he really means is that all the pretty birds had already been laid so they had to sacrifice the ugly birds for the benefit of the future civilization.
Bored Brit #2: I don’t care. All I want to do is run to the top of that little temple, have a fag, and look at the ocean.

–Cancun, Mexico

Remember When You Thought Taking German in College Would Never Do You Any Good?

Male tourist speaking in German: Look at that guy's Speedo!
Female tourist speaking in German: Eeew. And his friend really needs to shave his back.
Male tourist speaking in German: I am so glad no one understands what we are saying.
Female tourist speaking in German: I know!

–South Beach, Florida

Overheard by: German-speaker