Little girl, maybe #6 years old: I want a dog! When I get my big brother, I'm going to name him killer! –Venice Beach, CA Overheard by: Anon Y. Mous
Man: Do you guys have anything to cut wood with?
Clearly drunk girl: Mah dick. –Cabrillo Beach
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Blonde soccer mom with kid to her friends: And then he licked my boobs. I was good that night. –Half Moon Bay, California
Little girl, playing in pool at hotel: Nana, what beach are we at?
Older woman: Myrtle beach.
Little girl: Murder beach!
Rest of kids in pool: Murder beach! We're at murder beach!
Little boy: Hey, let's play murder beach. I'll kill you and rob your dead body! –Myrtle Beach, South Carolina Overheard by: Marisa English
Thug to thugette: Who's that character in The Little Mermaid called? You know, that little crab nigga? –Norfolk, Virginia
Mom to #2 girls running from pool to their towel: Get away from that towel! You're wet, you don't need no towel! –Mount Vernon NY
Cute brunette in black bikini to boyfriend: Can we go? There's a guy over there filming us.
Brunette: Over there, in the white shorts. What a creeper!
(a few minutes after)
Brunette's female friend: White shorts is going in the water. I hope he gets his camera wet.
Brunette: It's actually kinda flattering.
Boyfriend: First you're all insulted, and now your flattered. Pfft! –Beach, Chicago, Illinois
Old leather-skinned Guy: Where ya been all summer?
Gay couple: Ummm, do we know you?
Old leather-skinned guy: Nah, I just say that to everyone as pale as you this late in the season. –Gunnison Beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey