Woman to friends, as they decide where to set up: Let's look for a part of the beach that isn't so sandy, y'all! –Kill Devil Hills, Outer Banks, North Carolina Overheard by: R U Serious?
Blond woman, wrapping towel around her waist: I feel like my thighs are too fat to be at the beach.
Gay friend: Well, shit, now they look like they're in a sausage casing. Downgrade. –Palmetto, Boca Raton, Florida
Boston woman in her late 50s: … And it’s not like it used to be. Jamaica Plain has become so culturally diverse… It’s so unfortunate!
Sunburned woman in her late 50s: Um. Where is that sunscreen? –Surfside Beach, Nantucket, Massachusetts Overheard by: KP
Woman #1: Now you see that dude right there? That one in the green swim trunks.
Woman #2: Okaaaaay, yeah, I see him. The one with the red hair that's skimboarding?
Woman #1: Yeah, him. Now, I would so hook up with him. Look at those abs. Don't you just wanna run your hands all over him?
Girl slathered in tanning oil, staring at them: That's my boyfriend.
Woman #2: Oh. How long have you guys been going out?
Girl: Four months. What's it to you?
Woman #1: Just weighing our chances.
Girl: Chances of what?
Woman #2: Sleeping with him.
(girl makes disgusted noise and walks away).
Woman #2: Don' t worry, Shar. She's hideous. We'll follow them when they leave and the next time they go to a club or something, we'll hunt him down and get what we want.
Woman #1: We always do. Wait…which one of us gets to sleep with him? (they glance at each other, saying nothing) I've got a bigger rack. –Pismo Beach, California Overheard by: Matilda
60-something woman: So, you know Susan?
60-something friend: Oh gosh, yes! We've been to all her nude parties! –Anna Maria Island, Florida Overheard by: Too much information
Dramatic guy to woman at seaside restaurant: DC? Washington, DC, did you ask? DC is a fuckfest!
Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Woman walker #1: I would never go out with him–his head is huge, his clothes are always wrinkled, and he doesn't shower.
Woman walker #2: Ugh.
Woman walker #1: Besides, he smokes.
Woman walker #2: But you smoke, too!
Woman walker #1: I know, but I never date smokers. –Lake Miramar, California Overheard by: El Meech
Drunk woman to woman coming out of water with snorkeling mask: Oh, I was thinking about getting one of those! Is it worth the money?
Woman in mask: Absolutely! There's tons of sea urchins, coral, plants, fish…
Drunk woman: Tropical? –Atlantis Resort Cove Beach, Bahamas Overheard by: Maggie
Woman standing waist-deep in water: My labia has atrophied. –Crescent Lake, Washington Overheard by: The water really was that cold.
Overly sunburned woman: Oh, hey, look! A two-legged race! –Aruba Overheard by: Amused