Little girl: Mommy, where’s the rest of your bathing suit?
Mother: It’s called a ‘thong,’ honey.
Little girl: Like that song?
Mother: Yes, honey, just like the song.
Little girl hums ‘Thong Song.’
–West Palm Beach, Florida
Archive for the ‘Words’ Category
From Etymology to Racism in One Easy Step
Rich lady with yappy dog: Well, ‘Caucasian’ has ‘Asian’ in it. Then again, there’s a ‘turd’ in every ‘Saturday.’ –Golden Gardens Park, Seattle, Washington Overheard by: Disturbed
You Can Be Our Token Sober Person
Girl on cell: Hey! I'm having a barbecue tonight! You should totally come over to my place and drink juice. And by “juice,” I mean sooodaaaa.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
That's Your Answer to Everything!
Girl #1: We need shade. I don't want to get burned.
Girl #2: Wha'd she say?
Girl #3: She says she's gonna be a little bitch.
–Playa Mia, Mexico
Overheard by: Peeto
Or Am I Thinking Of a Yeast Infection?
Drunk boy: Anemic? Isn't that when you eat too much white bread?
–Poolside, Perth, Australia
And Ketchup
American female tourist #1: So what did you say your favorite condoment was ?
American female tourist #2: Trojans!
American male tourist: You kiddin … Mine is Europe, every time!
–Holland America Cruise, Mediterrean Sea
Overheard by: Vennfix
…I'm Writing a Letter to My Congressman.
Young 20-something guy, while texting: Is tranny spelled with one “n” or two?
–Ferry, Fire Island, New York
That's What You Said About the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria
Little boy: Dad, what's the navy?
Dad: It's the army, but with boats.
–South Haven, Michigan
I'm Going to Med School
Girl to boy showing a picture: This is for Valentine's Day.
Boy: Umm… That's really disturbing, is it a bouquet of penises?
Girl: It's not disturbing! It's for Valentine's. (pause) Wait, did you just say “penises”?
–Tampa, Florida
Dear God, What Have I Done?
Father to daughter, while mother brushes hair: Doesn't that hurt?
Daughter: Nope, I have a strong scallop.
Father: What does that mean? Your head is not made of vegetables!
Mother: What? Vegetables? That's “scallions,” you idiot! And your head is not a scallop, it's a scalp… you're both idiots! (laughs hysterically)
–Robert Moses, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Sugardoll