Swedish guy, to French guy: So you’re telling me I just paid like 1,000 Euro to go here and find out that some fuckin’ frogshagger screwed my girlfriend? French guy says nothing. Swedish guy: Hey, that’s three words for “intercourse” in one sentence! Personal record! –Côte d’Azur, France Overheard by: Another Swede
Kid: Mom, where are we going?
Mom: Just walk straight!
Kid: Where’s straight?! –Robert Moses Beach, New York Overheard by: Gwast
Tween boy #1: Dude, I’m gonna cleave the beaver.
Tween boy #2: When?
Tween boy #1: Tonight.
Tween boy #2: Sweet. You’ll have to tell me how the beaver tastes.
Passerby: Do you even know what a beaver is?
Tween boy #2: Yeah, it’s an animal, stupid. –Beaver Island State Park, Grand Island, New York
Chick #1: I hope the water isn’t painfully cold.
Chick #2: Eh, even if it is, pain is weakness leaving the body!
Chick #1: It’s pretty cold.
Chick #2: Yeah…Cold is just heat leaving the body. –Ocean City, New Jersey Overheard by: wading nearby
Man #1: What kind of clouds are those?
Man #2: Ambidextrous.
Man #1: Oh, yeah. Ambidextrous. –Corolla, North Carolina Overheard by: James
Drunk New Year’s reveller, at 5 AM: Morning has broken, like the first…
Girlfriend: Shut up! –Bondi Beach, Australia Overheard by: GGary
Lifeguard: Yo! The beach ain't no good! I said the beach ain't no good today! (sees attractive woman walking toward the beach) Hey there, listen, the beach isn't good today, okay? –Coney Island, New York Overheard by: Nikki
Rich lady with yappy dog: Well, ‘Caucasian’ has ‘Asian’ in it. Then again, there’s a ‘turd’ in every ‘Saturday.’ –Golden Gardens Park, Seattle, Washington Overheard by: Disturbed
Woman: It wasn’t a boob reduction. It was a boob elimination. You know, a man-sectomy. –Warren Dunes, Lake Michigan Overheard by: Andrea
Teen girl with hands on stomach: Why do skinny girls get the bloat?
Mom: Is that what you call it? –Nauset Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts Overheard by: Blanket Once Removed