Over-dressed and self-important guy on cell: No, no, it was some sort of implement she was calling us… No… Rubber? A douchebag? I’ve heard that before. –Pacific Palisades, California Overheard by: ear of the betafish
Scrawny brunette girl to friend: When you 'ask' someone, you have a question. When you 'axe' someone, you introduce a hatchet to their face. –Virginia Beach, Virginia
Teen boy #1: I swear on my mom, if you just put that on you won’t get wet.
Teen boy #2: Then why the fuck is it called a wet suit? –Cedar Lake, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Jock #1: Woah! I am so down for some volleyball!
Jock #2: Bocce ball!
Jock #1: Bocce is huge.
Jock #2: Man, I feel like a kid in a candy store… Yo, I am so into this bocce ball.
Jock #1: Bocce is huge. –Dr. Gravity’s Kite Shop, Harwichport, Massachusetts Overheard by: jon wazoo
Random high school girl: So then I looked at her and said, “Shit, bitch, what's your fucking problem?”
Random high school guy: Were they Mexican?
Guy: Well, were they sexy Mexicans?
Girl: Yes, deary, they were Sexicans. –Rat Beach, California Overheard by: where can i find them?
American female tourist #1: So what did you say your favorite condoment was ?
American female tourist #2: Trojans!
American male tourist: You kiddin … Mine is Europe, every time! –Holland America Cruise, Mediterrean Sea Overheard by: Vennfix
Swedish guy, to French guy: So you’re telling me I just paid like 1,000 Euro to go here and find out that some fuckin’ frogshagger screwed my girlfriend? French guy says nothing. Swedish guy: Hey, that’s three words for “intercourse” in one sentence! Personal record! –Côte d’Azur, France Overheard by: Another Swede
Kid: Mom, where are we going?
Mom: Just walk straight!
Kid: Where’s straight?! –Robert Moses Beach, New York Overheard by: Gwast
Tween boy #1: Dude, I’m gonna cleave the beaver.
Tween boy #2: When?
Tween boy #1: Tonight.
Tween boy #2: Sweet. You’ll have to tell me how the beaver tastes.
Passerby: Do you even know what a beaver is?
Tween boy #2: Yeah, it’s an animal, stupid. –Beaver Island State Park, Grand Island, New York
Chick #1: I hope the water isn’t painfully cold.
Chick #2: Eh, even if it is, pain is weakness leaving the body!
Chick #1: It’s pretty cold.
Chick #2: Yeah…Cold is just heat leaving the body. –Ocean City, New Jersey Overheard by: wading nearby