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Dude, You Suck at "Yo Mama"
11-year-old Korean boy to 11-year-old Egyptian boy: You live in pyramid and you mummy!
--Christchurch, New Zealand
Overheard by: novalis
The Same Thing Happens to Women
Trendy Asian chick: I've seen a lot of transvestites in my day, but only one with a beard.
Old, well-dressed Mexican man: He must have forgotten to shave.
--Newport Beach, California
Depends. Show Me Your Wallet.
White guy to Asian girl made up like Thai hooker: Hey, are you waiting for me?
--Santa Monica Pier, California
Overheard by: Ann
Is "Einstein" a Position?
Guy (sarcastically): You're like the smartest person I know. You're practically einstein.
Girl: I... Don't really get sex jokes.
--Bethany Beach
Overheard by: upgrade
Did That Guy Seem Juiced Up to You?
Skinny, half naked black guy wearing purple booty shorts: "do you guys do drugs?"
College kids: "no..."
Black guy: "oh I do...I'm a drug addict. Yeah, I just came from a rave, there are some crazy people out there! Why are y'all sitting here in the middle of venice beach? It gets dangerous here at night!"
College kid (holding an orange): "well, I'm strapped, so..."
Black guy: "is that an orange? Can I have it?" (takes orange and walks away).
--Venice Beach
Overheard by: Keidi
If Gilligan Could Have a Coconut Radio, Anything's Possible
Chubby man, kicking around the sand: Hey, have you guys seen a set of keys over here?
Asian girl: Um. No. Sorry.
Chubby man: Shit. I must have buried the car keys in the sand on accident. My wife's gonna kill me.
Asian girl: I haven't seen any keys, unfortunately.
Chubby man: Hey, do you think the beach has a Lost and Found box anywhere?
--Big Beach, Maui, Hawaii
Overheard by: Responsible Tourist
Hell Is Other People Like You
Dude: Yo, that guy's Asian as hell!
--Nag's Head, North Carolina
Overheard by: alxie
The Suit Hurts and You're Abusive -- This Is the Best S&M Club Ever
Japanese tourist #1 with wet suit on backwards: Hello!
Local surfer: You speak English?
Japanese tourist #2: Yes, yes!
Local surfer: Good. Get the fuck out of here!
--The Hook, Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Chrissy
I Admire His Persistence, But I Am Beginning to Chafe
Asian girl: He fell in my hole and won't get out!
--Long Beach, New York
And You Took a Dump in Their Ceremonial Urn
American: Why did she stare at me like that? Is my accent that horrible? Did I say something wrong?
Japanese-American: Your accent isn't that bad. But you made the Japanese "fuck you" gesture with your hands.
--Beach near Tokyo
And This Next Slide Is Me on Mars...
Chinese guy #1, taking picture: It's too bad the American flag is fluttering in the background.
Chinese guy #2, posing for the shot: Don't worry, I'll photoshop it to a Chinese flag on my computer.
Translated from the Chinese.
--Laguna Beach, California
Overheard by: Jackie
Have You Donated Money to War-Torn Soy Sauce Yet?
Asian guy: We should get some fish and chips.
Asian girl: Ooh, I love tartar sauce. It's my favorite continent.
Asian guy: What?
--Steveston Pier, Richmond, British Columbia
The Ants are Always Hogging the Spots Under the Magnifying Glass
Teen boy: Ugh. This tanning oil gets so hot! Maybe it will fry off my back zits. Hey, move over, I want to lay down so the sun will burn off my back zits.
--Beach, Rhode Island
But Having It in My Urethra was Worse
Man on cell: Oh my god, she did that, and I thought getting sand in my crack was bad...
--Atlantic Beach, North Carolina
Are You as Wet as I Am?
Girl #1: There are a lot of boobs here.
Girl #2: Yeah, but they are all 60 years old, fat, and saggy.
--Valencia, Spain
Overheard by: Rolo
