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How You Know a Baby's Too Old to Be Breast-feeding
Teen girl to friend: If you don't stop, I will punch you in the tits.
--Pacifica, California
...Since She Has a Baby in Her Belly.
Girl on beach to group of friends: My college roommate worked at Hooters, she's nice but she's a slut-and-a-half!
--Brighton Beach, New York
Nice Goiter
Cute girl walking down the boardwalk: I've been stared at seven times already!
Random guy walking past: Eight.
--Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Overheard by: bonzo
That Makes Sense; I Never Jerk Off on Bad Hair Days
Man: Get rid of your mustache, and then worry about the Brazilian.
Woman: Get some hair on your head, and then go fuck yourself.
--Jersey Shore, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mike
It's a Cry for Attention
Goth girl #1: So, the stupid cam won't fucking stop following me.
Goth girl #2: [Hiccuping.]
Goth girl #1: And I can't adjust it or anything.
Goth girl #2: [Hiccuping.]
Goth girl #1: So it's really fucking--
Goth girl #2: --[Hiccuping.]
Goth girl #1: Would you fucking stop it?!
--Venice Beach, California
There Were Pictures of Some Fat Chick on Her Myspace, but She's Thin, So It's Cool
Chick #1: I can't put these pictures on MySpace! I look fat!
Chick #2: I'll put them on MySpace. I'm a skinny bitch.
--Jones Beach, New York
Oaky, with Overtones of Fruit and Tobacco
Chick #1 disappears into bedroom with dude.
Chick #2: Go ahead, bitch, suck his dick. It's sandy and it tastes like me.
--Beach Haven, New Jersey
'80s: Seriously, Though
Chubby twink: The '80s called, they want their lipstick back.
Chick in black with bright red lipstick: Your boyfriend called, he thinks you're fat.
Chubby twink runs off crying, chick in black lights a smoke.
--Witty's Lagoon, British Columbia, Canadia
Overheard by: sleepless
Tonight's Movie: When Harry Punched Sally
Boy: I think what you just said is racism.
Biotech: I'll give you racism, you black bitch.
--Williamstown, Melbourne, Australia
Overheard by: knee coal
