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Loved the Clown Noses on the Nipples, by the Way
Drunk girl who just flashed her tits: Here, I'll show you, but I know you're going to laugh.
Bouncer: Like I'm gonna laugh at your ID -- I just saw your tits!
--Outside Mercury Bar, Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: Here tits were pretty funny
Yeah, Along With Some Weird Pink Money with Birds and Queens on it
Police officer: You're under arrest for underage drinking in public.
American teen: But they're from Canada, officer!
Police officer: Got any marijuana in your purse?
--Sandestin, Florida
Overheard by: proudcanadian
It Has Its Hands Full Warming the Globe
Beach patrol: Ma'am, I am going to have to ask you to put on your top. This is not a "clothing optional" beach.
Man sitting with topless woman: Leave her alone. She is trying to get a full body tan.
Beach patrol: Sir, I think you are asking quite a bit from the sun.
--Fort Macon, North Carolina
Overheard by: El Gee
This Time Jesus Turns the Beer into Fanta Grape
Cop: All right, what's in the cup?
Young guy: Uh, beer.
Cop: I asked you what's in the cup. Now give it to me.
Young guy: I just told you, it's beer!
Cop: You do know it's illegal to be drinking on the boardwalk, right?
Young guy: It's soda.
Cop: It's beer. Give it to me.
Young guy: No! It's mine!
Young guy runs off with cup.
--Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Overheard by: also kinda drunk
