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Actually, We're a Jewelry Store, but You Just Made My Day
Customer: Hey, my car is making a funny noise.
Clerk: What did it sound like?
Customer: Vrummm-clunk.
Clerk: How did it go, again?
Customer: Vrummm-clunk.
Clerk: I didn't quite get that -- one more time?
Customer: Vrummm-clunk! Vrummm-clunk! Vrummm-clunk!
Clerk: Hahahaha!
Customer: What?
--AutoZone, Crestview, Florida
She Got Some Dead Girl's Old Breast Implants
Waiter to customer: Sir, you just missed her. She looks hotter. She just got a transplant.
--South Padre Island, Texas
I Am Parko, Almighty Parking Deity. Give Me Your Worldly Goods or Roam the Melting Streets Forever!
Parking lot attendant: Thirty dollars.
Woman: Last time I was here, you charged me five dollars.
Parking lot attendant: I should be charging you the same amount as it is degrees outside. I should be charging you like ninety three dollars.
--Hampton Beach, New Hampshire
Overheard by: arc, mich
When You Were Standing Watch, What Were You Watching?
Navy guy #1: Do you have beach shorts?
Gift shop employee: Yeah, over there.
Navy guy #2: This is a small. I think I need a medium.
Navy guy #1: Dude, no. Your dick is small.
--Pensacola Beach, Florida
