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Unless There's More to the Story?
Daughter to mother: You yell at me for saying 'munted,' 'fucked,' 'wasted,' and 'shafted,' because you say they all mean 'having sex.' So for the love of god, when you tell that story will you stop saying you were 'stiffed' by an old lady?!
--New Zealand
And That's How Johnny Cash Got the Idea for 'Delia's Gone'
Little sister: Bury me! Bury me!
Big brother: No, I can't marry you. That'd be disgusting.
Little sister: BURY me!
Big brother: No, no, I can't marry you! Stop it!
Little sister: I said BURY me, stupid!
--Orchard Beach, New York
Overheard by: Anais Borg-Marks
Your Grandfather and I Turned Out Okay
Grandmother: So you're not in a fight anymore?
Little boy, hugging little girl: We're gettting married!
Grandmother: But you're cousins.
Little boy: No, I mean when we're older.
Grandmother: But you'll still be...Never mind.
--Ortley Beach, New Jersey
A Bad Case of Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy
Daughter: Thanks for giving me an aneurysm, Mom.
Mother, under her breath: I wish I'd given you an aneurysm.
Daughter: What?
Mother: Nothing, dear.
--Sea Isle City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Cols
Are You Coming On to Me?
Daughter, to mom: So how do you know when to just lay there and when to beat them off?
--Ocean Beach, San Diego, California
Look, Mom, I'll Trade You For the Shot of You With the Pool Boy
A dog is humping a newlywed's leg.
Mother-in-Law: Oh my God, don't move. I have to get a picture of that!
Son-in-Law: Um...
Mother-in-Law: Okay, I've got the camera. Hump away, Curley!
--Lake Superior
In His Prison Locker
Niece: I can't find my underwear!
Uncle: Maybe it's with my wedding ring.
--Rio Del Mar Beach, California
Either Way, She Will Grow Up to Be Much Sought After
Mom: What did that lady ask you?
Little girl, wearing "Cerveza With a Smile" shirt: She asked what my shirt said.
Mom: Do you know what it says?
Grandpa: Service with a smile.
--Cedar Point, Ohio
Overheard by: devin the artist
On the Production Line at the Catch Phrase Factory
Mom: Hey! Tell them the new teenager attitude sound.
Uncle: Pfft.
Girl #1: Yeah, that's spelled P-F-F-T.
Girl #2: Doesn't it have, like, an 'H' in it or something? Like P-H-F-F-T?
Uncle: You don't even have to have the 'T' in it. You could definitely go without the 'T.'
--Inverhuron, Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: sun-fried brain
