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Now Imagine Lesley Gore Singing This

Guy #1: I can't believe you did that! How could you? After all this time! I thought I knew you!
Guy #2, very loudly: It's my butt and it's gonna be fucked if I want it to!

--Enseada Beach, Brazil

Overheard by: Natasha

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Posted 2008-07-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

You'd Think If Anybody Was Pro-Life It Would Be God

Queer: So, like, let me get this straight. God got this lady pregnant and made her have a baby and then killed it so you could get away with whatever shit you wanted as long as you felt sorry?
Christian guy: Wow... I've never heard it put that way...
Queer: Sorry, I meant he killed him, it was a boy.

--Santa Cruz, California

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Posted 2008-07-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

He Does Crazy Things During Full Moons

Queer: Josh! If you don't put your ass away right now, I'm gonna fuck it!

--Fire Island Pines, Brookhaven, New York

Overheard by: Your Buddy in Blue

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Posted 2008-03-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Looks Like a Stand-off

Crazy bag lady: I'm Ozzy's mommy!
Queer: No, you're not! You're a fucking gross woman who carries around used clothes and a knapsack full of tissues! Plus, Ozzy sucks!
Crazy bag lady: Fag!

--St. Petersburg, Florida

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Posted 2008-01-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Thank Goodness Our Parachute Opened

Queer: ... And when he finished on my ass he said, 'Hold on,' and took a step backward and did a back flip!

--St. Augustine Beach, Florida

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Posted 2007-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

But Then I Stopped Pretending

Queer #1: Oh my god, I used to eat Little Debbies all the time! I would have a Little Debbie and a Coke for breakfast every day.
Queer #2, intensely: I fucking loved Little Debbies.

--Publix, South Beach, Miami, Florida

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Posted 2007-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

And Not a Good-Looking One, Either

Aussie queer: I know that guy's gay. That's got to be his sister. A minute ago a guy came walking up to him that had the same look -- tattoos, short hair... That's usually a giveaway, right? Monkey's face.
American queer: Monkey's face? What's that mean? Is that another Australian colloquialism?
Aussie queer: No, I was just saying the guy's face looked like a monkey.

--Bronte Beach, Australia

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Posted 2007-03-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook