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Glad the condom broke All Categories > People > Kids > Glad the condom broke
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No Thanks, Bobby
Three-year-old playing kitchen, to adults: Does anyone want a taste of my spicy vagina?
--Lake George, New York
Can We Keep It?
Little boy passing by a midget: Mom! Mom! I just saw a people-kid!
--Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Well, God Is Pretty Old
Five-year-old as old lady swims by: Grandpa, how much older can a woman get?!
--Harry Wright Lake, Manchester, New Jersey
Overheard by: I Put on More SPF
Her Friends Call Her "Inconvenient Ruth"
Seven-year-old girl with net, shouting to friend and running to the water: Come on, Meghan! This is a humongous scientific emergency!
--Wellfleet, Massachusetts
The Goldilocks Tale Gets a Strange and Wonderful Retelling
Young boy: This water's too cold for one of my privates!
--Cunningham Falls, Maryland
If You Cunt Pronounce It Correctly, Keep Your Mouth Shit
Three-year-old girl: I love the bitch!
Mother: Did you just say 'bitch'? You can't say that! It's beach.
Three-year-old girl: Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch!
Mother, exasperated: I can hear you!
--Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: jess
Tomorrow Night It's The Devil in Miss Jones or Nothing
Five-year-old girl to dad humming Lion King theme: Would you please stop singing that song?!
Dad: I can't get it out of my head.
Five-year-old girl: That's the last time you make me watch that movie with you.
--Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: jeff little
Travis Decides to Abandon Vanilla
Tiny mullet kid: Spank the hiney! Spank the hiney!
Surfer passerby: Spank the hiney? Awesome!
--Robert Moses Beach, New York
Awww, You're Sweet. No, I'm 30
Little girl: Grandma, you're old!
Grandma: How old do you think I am, sweetie?
Little girl: I dunno... like, 16, or something.
--Wilmington, North Carolina
Girls: Yes, We'll be 'Right Back'
Bike kid #1: Where are you going? The girls are coming right back!
Bike kid #2: I'm going to get gum.
Bike kid #1 to bike kid #3: We're never bringing him to fucking Wawa again!
--Cape May, New Jersey
Overheard by: DennyCrane
