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At Least, That's What I Heard

Middle-aged guy: Nah, it's never worth it if you don't get laid. I mean, I could've gotten two hookers for that much!

--Lake Calhoun, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: boris the blade


Posted 2008-03-10 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And She's Always Blabbing to My Wife

Cute surfer: So, how's it going? Did you go out with her again?
Really cute surfer: Oh, no, she's traveling, but I'm waiting for her to come back.
Cute surfer: You're really into her, right? I thinks she's hot.
Really cute surfer: Yeah, she's amazing.
Cute surfer: Have you, like, talked to her about going out again?
Really cute surfer: Yeah, kinda... [Looking away and waving] Hey, dude, stop talking about it. My girlfriend is coming.
Cute surfer: Oh, okay [smiles and waves to girl].

--Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Overheard by: And I thought he was cute


Posted 2007-03-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Day of the Mom-and-Pop Brothel Has Passed

Wife: Yeah, but think of all those Asian girls we fucked. Now think of their husbands and boyfriends...
Husband: Yeah... If I was one of those nerdy, ugly white guys I'd be pulling mad Oriental ass.

--Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: lora


Posted 2007-03-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Willing to Take Responsibility for His Actions, but Unable to Remember Them

Dude in hot tub: Wait, we didn't do it? So we aren't in trouble?!

--Carnival Ecstasy cruise


Posted 2007-02-12 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

... Just Like the Ones on My Penis

Guy: I've seen that girl naked more than any other guy at this school, and I'm telling you, man, she has spots all over her vagina.

--West Beach, Beverly Farms, Massachusetts


Posted 2007-02-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Hostel II

Swedish guy: Are you the hippies?
Dreadlock guy: I guess so.
Swedish guy: So, you hippies, do you have the orgies?
Dreadlock girl: Um... We decide that on a hippie by hippie basis.
Swedish guy: Oh, because you say 'Yes,' and I sign up now.

--Queenstown, New Zealand

Overheard by: sue


Posted 2007-01-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Two Women and a Cat, and He Thinks They're Straight?

Buff dude: Hey, sexy ladies, what's up?
Girl #1: Not much, just out with my friend and our cat.
Buff dude: You have a cat on the beach?
Girl #2: Of course! People can bring their dogs, can't they?
Buff dude: Hey, can I pet your pussy?

--St. Petersburg Beach, Florida


Posted 2006-06-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook